Never Ever Ever

…will I enjoy the food in LA

…can I correctly spell necessary. EVER! I jack it up so bad each time, that it doesn’t even give me a spell check option. Why can’t I spell this word?!

…will I get sick of instagram

…will I stop watching Chopped. The mystery ingredients are so exciting. 

…will I stop loving my Robert and DeNiro ;)

…will I get over the loss of my pets. RIP <3

…will I live in TN again

…will I hate the beach. Unless it’s cold. Fuck that

…will I stop watching Jenna Marbles videos

And on that note, I'll leave you with one of my faves.

Another all time fave is Better Names For Animals and Drunk Makeup Tutorial (also Drunk Makeup Tutorial Extras), What A Girls Hair Means, What A Girls Makeup Means, How Girls Watch TV.. omg I could keep going...

Concerts, Oceans and Drinks

I'm probably gonna just let this turn into a picture post. Because I took so many and I'm really exhausted and can't seem to find words, but I guess I'll try a little bit. 
So the boyfriend and I left LA on Friday to head down to Orange County, and we met our friends Tommy and Joell down there. We tried to check into the hotel but we weren't allowed because one of the housekeepers just had a stroke so basically no one was cleaning the rooms. It was 1:30 and she told us to come back at 3:00 and that she would call 10 mins before 3. So she sent us over to the nearby mall, (which has a random ferris wheel) and we had a drink at the Yardhouse. I got a french gimlet, so good. I love gimlets.

We hurried back to be at the hotel by 3 and so so excited! BUT there was like 20 people lined up out the door and squished in this tiny lobby. The front desk lady had told everyone the same thing and never called any of us. When we walked up, people were like "oh it's a 45 minute wait"... cue the steam from my ears. All I could think was "if I am late to this concert I will cut this bitch". Some dude brought in a case of beer to keep us busy and slightly entertained. Everyone was there for the concert. A bunch of Kid Rock fans in one tiny lobby downing beers... it was entertaining. Also entertaining, was how many times she double booked rooms and people were coming back with their keys like "um there's someone in my room". It was such a cluster fuck. This repeated until 4:30 when we finally got in our room... with a broken door handle. No worries, the men fixed it. 
I was honestly exhausted after that lobby debacle, can you tell? Hot mess. Waiting around is so irritating and draining. I can't be the only one who thinks this. But our cab was coming at 5 so we had to hustle. Shoved some rum-soaked-pineapples down my throat, shot some moonshine and jumped in the cab. 

We got to the venue in just a few minutes and this is when my "squeeeeee" started. Seeing all the Kid Rock promo, I was getting SO PUMPED!!!!! 

Oh, I also entered with like 83239 Harley reps to get called on stage with him. That didn't happen. Fuck!
I don't know if I mentioned this before, but his team was giving away front row tickets to random people. And I was goddamn determined to get them!! I failed though, cuz duh I always do. I tried like 7 different people, even someone with an all access pass. But none of them were the ones with the tickets. Time passed and passed and I started to feel so sad that we weren't gonna be in the front. But then he came on stage and I basically exploded with joy. There is nothing like a Kid Rock concert. I promise you. Even if you don't like him (I used to hate him), you would have a blast a his show.

I wish I had better quality, but ya know.. I didn't get picked for the front row or the stage. It's cool. After the concert ended, major depression set in. As it does after every concert. Does that happen to anyone else? You're soooo amped up for months and then the day comes and it's all happening and it's so much fun and excitement and then BOOM. It's over. Gone. It's so sad. 

Saturday we went back to the Yardhouse for some food, drinks and a mini photo session with the clown rapist again. 
I was the loner with the mimosa cuz I'm a wimp, while they all went balls to the wall with bloody mary's.
now that he's discovered this "smile", it's almost impossible to get a real picture with him.

Then we headed to Laguna Beach and I was so yipppyyyyy to lay in the sun and get tan. Fail. It was cloudy and cold as fuck. I was so cold! The guys were in the water getting wrecked by giant waves, while us ladies sat shivering on the beach. We let them play for a little while but they made the mistake of saying "just let us know when you wanna leave and we'll go". Haha suckers. We went and got dinner at this place called House of Big Fish and Ice Cold Beer. Robert and I went there once before, the last time we went to Laguna in March. We got the same table, the best one in the place, in the corner with the view of the ocean.
as you can see, I thought we were taking a good picture. but he brought the clown raper again. and again.
he tried to make up for it but I clearly wasn't having it ;)
After dinner, we left cold ass Laguna and headed back to our hotel, got some beers, drank some moonshine, and Joell tried to teach me to play poker. But I had no brain power, that game is so confusing. But I did win my first round. Winning! We wanted to go to a show at the Improv down there but we didn't get back from the beach in time. Bummer. We also wanted to go to the pool area but apparently their website was a big fat lie and they didn't have a pool.
front desk guy: we don't have a pool or fitness but we do have laundry!
robert: so you're saying we can flood the laundry room and go swimming in there?
front desk guy: *confused giggles*
me: i won't tell anyone you told us we could!! bye!!!

Whether we did or not, you may never know....

Sunday morning, our friends left early then Robert and I headed to a breakfast diner to see what OC food was like. You might think that sounds weird but food in Los Angeles is disgusting. We're from Boston, we know good food. LA just cannot get it. I hate it. But the OC was pretty damn good. From the food to the people around and the servers, we almost thought we were in Massachusetts. Almost.

After breakfast we headed back home, we missed DeNiro a lot!!!! He was so happy we were back. 

As much as I love getting away from LA, it was so nice to be back in our own home. We spent the rest of the day/night drowning ourselves in Orange Is The New Black. Have you watched it yet? Um hi, obsessed. Love it. Check it out. 

So I guess I did write a lot. So much for that picture only post. I'm feeling real lazy to proof read it though, so deal with it. 

You can see some of this weekend on my Instagram too. Go follow, be a stalker. I like it.

Sami's Shenanigans

Alcoholic Weekend In The OC

3 day weekend for me! I'm making this post tonight because I won't be posting all weekend. We're heading down to Orange County tomorrow morning. I plan on checking into the hotel and throwing my ass by the pool immediately. And since we're seeing Kid Rock and all, it's only appropriate that we be "drinkin whiskey out the bottle".
Currently, I have pineapple soaking in rum. Tomorrow I'll cover them in chocolate and coconut and nom on those by the pool too. I got the idea from Maddie and cannot wait to stuff them down my throat.

I haven't even started to pack. That's the worst part, even if you go away for only one day. And we're going away for 3, ugh! 

Hope everyone has a good weekend! Gotta go byeeeee!!!

I've Never Been A Good Sales Person

I always knew I was bad at selling; why would I think craigslist is any different?

I tried to sell our old table/chairs on craigslist and failed miserably.
I had a bunch of replies sitting in my email and even one couple with a truck ready to come get it. BUT I didn't check my inbox for that email address. So I missed them all. I just replied and they have all found other tables. DAMMIT. I'm the cause of my own rejection.

A million years ago when I was like 19 or 20, I was certain I could make a shit ton of money doing sales. "how hard could it be?" I signed up for this company that you may have heard of or even signed up for yourself... Vector Marketing selling CUTCO knives. I was horrible at it. I sold ONE paring knife to a friend and only cuz I begged. Fail. So, I quit.
thanks BooBoo

I worked at a gym once and had to sell memberships. Which wasn't too hard but I was still not great at it. Mostly because I really didn't give a shit. I had a free membership for being an employee and that's all that mattered to me. Plus I charmed the hell outta the members and managers over those 2 years, everyone adored me. Those were some good times. Until I decided to go sell something else and never kept in contact with a single one of those people. I suck.

Last chance at selling... but first, let's spend waste thousands of dollars on a shit-tastic school for medical assisting (that I'm still paying for) so I don't have to fall into another lame sales pitch. But oh, what's the first job I get right out of school? SALES. But a "secret" sales job. A sales job disguised as a "medical diet". The cookie diet to be exact. Sure we drew blood, ran EKG's, checked blood pressure... but at the end of the day it was all about selling that diet and all the products. At this point, selling wasn't too hard, not because I as good at it, but mainly because it was a new fad and people were desperate. I did that for a year and after everyone in the area tried it and gave up, the office was a dead space. We couldn't give that shit away. I left. And that was the last time I did sales, until craigslist.

...And I Do My Little Turn On The Catwalk

I feel like making a post about my cat. Cuz let's be real, he is beyond adorable and mostly I really wanna share his shelter picture. LOOK!

Seriously, how could you see that online and not run your ass to the shelter? I was soooo scared he would already be taken. Look at that little face. And he's all the way in the back of the box, so scared and confused. When we got there he was in a cage with his sister that was all gray. And they had a neighbor that was all black and the boyfriend wanted the black cat so bad. But I had my eyes set on this little tabby dude. I knew I wanted a gray male cat and I really wanted a tabby because my 3 previous cats were tabby and they're just so cute. I won't get into them yet because they all recently passed away and it makes me really really sad, as well as my dogs. <--another post another time.

Anyways, so clearly that cute fella up there WAS MEANT TO BE with me! duh.

Oh and let's also notice that his shelter card said female.... because of that, this is what happened to our poor little dude... (all animals are fixed before you take them from the shelter)

Can you imagine being the doctor and cutting a "female" kitten open and seeing NOTHING?! More importantly, because of this error the little guy had a shaved tummy, and stitches - as if life on the streets wasn't traumatizing enough, now he's being mistaken for a chick.
At least he has a cool story to tell.

And now look at him, all big and handsome and shit. Such a stunner. 
(My fave little model pic of him is here in his little bio.)

He wouldn't get out of that paper bag for over a week. I felt bad throwing it out, but I think a week was long enough to let him hold onto trash. Maybe it reminded him of where he used to live on the streets. HAHA, I'm an asshole. And he's a model...

I'm a model, you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the catwalk
see what I just did there? yeaa

Oh what's that? You're wondering if he has his own instagram? Well of course... @officialdeniro

not my cat... but could be, he's ridiculous like that

Tomorrow is my Friday cuz on the real Friday, I'm going here!

new blog design by Hubby Jack

Bye bye ghetto ass layout!

I finally feel official with a clean custom design thanks to Hubby Jack. I think the only thing left to truly join this blog world is to start throwing money at some of you for sponsoring. I'm gonna get on that today!

I don't really have much to post about today -- I really am just only thinking about the concert on Friday. It's hard to concentrate on anything when I just want Tuesday to turn into Friday night.

Oh, this day just got slightly more exciting. Amanda Bynes started a fire in an old ladies driveway and is now on a 5150 hold. I can't wait for -- "the cops and the firemen and the old lady and the people at the psych ward are all UGLY and I'm suing all of you!"

excuse the look

Currently getting a face lift on this lil blog o' mine. 


instalife - weekend edition

I don't know that I'll have time to post tomorrow, so I'm just gonna throw this up now... my Instagram weekend

#1) Went to the boyfriend's shop to pick up his work van and I was of course curious of what it would be like to drive such a beast. Turns out, I'm too damn small. 

#2) I posted last weekend that we randomly bought a new dining set. Well we actually totally forgot to pay for delivery and confirm a date. When we came back from getting the work van, the dudes were here delivering our table! They have no idea we didn't pay for delivery so I'm pretty sure we got that shit for free. woot!

#3) With all new table, chairs, rug, dishes ... I demanded we need new everything else. So a kitchen shopping trip ensued and there was still some Paula left on the shelves so... yea I bought some knives. Cuz honestly, fuck that shit they all did to her. So tired of the double standard in racism (ALL races, not just black and white which apparently is all anyone sees lately). God forbid an OLD white woman from the SOUTH said something racist 30 years ago... just rip her whole livelihood away while everyone else can say whatever they want. So stupid. 
Moving on....

#4) With Intervention coming to an end, I felt it was my duty as a big fan of the show to remember one unforgettable addict... 
it's like I'm walking on sunshine

#5) If you've read my Fun Facts you'll know that I haven't had a microwave in 2 years. That all changed this weekend. BOOM. joined the 21st century again.

#6) Umm so this moonshine, yea it has cherries in it so I got excited. If you see this in the stores, don't let it fool you. It is still 100 proof and it still burns your insides. Just has an on/off cherry taste as it rips thru you. 

#7) I think this was friday night, who knows. But I made turkey meatballs, which I've become pretty decent at. And I JUST started eating zucchini (I'm super picky!) so I wanted to see how it was breaded in panko and baked. It was yums. 

#8) Also on our kitchen shopping trip, we got new wine glasses. The giant ones. We've had the same glasses since we moved in here and I broke 2 of them doing dishes, so this was a very long awaited necessity.

#9) DeNiro put himself in time out. He's perfect so I know he didn't do anything wrong. He was probably like "I'm just so handsome it's not fair to everyone else, so lemme just sit out for a few minutes so I don't bring anyone down." <--- and the wine has taken effect.

What you don't see pictured up there is... we went to lunch today at a local/popular/"historic" place here, one of our faves- Barney's Beanery. They like to take their damn time so we did a ridiculous photo session to pass the time. And I had to post them cuz his creepy rapist smile was killing me. 

I made him take a normal one after I died laughing at the clown raper.

You also don't see the TERRIFYING afternoon I had. By that I straight up mean.. THE CONJURING. I'm a scary movie fanatic, mostly cuz I apparently like torturing myself. I don't even know what to say about this movie other than I think I was holding my breath the whole time cuz I let out a huge relief when it was over, and also had a hard time getting out of my seat. You know that feeling during the last few minutes of Blair Witch?'s like that throughout most of this movie. SO GOOD. 

 Happy Sunday/Monday! 

Oh look, my first link up!
Sami's Shenanigans