BARBARIC TEACHERS! did you have one?

Were you one of those lucky kids that had all wonderful teachers in school? I wasn't. My 2nd grade teacher made such a terrifying impact on me that I still sometimes think about her to this day... and I'm 31! She came up in a conversation recently ....about eating brains. No she wasn't a zombie, and she didn't seem like a cannibal. But yes, she absolutely cooked cow brains in a crockpot IN CLASS one day. 

I promise you, I will never ever forget the stench we had to breathe in all day. I hated that day. I hated her. I hated her for making us suffer thru the smell of cooking cow brains. What a monster.

And mostly, we ALL hated her for taking our junk food. "JUNK FOOD IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY CLASS!" Bitch, my mom packed me this Ring Ding and Fruit Roll-Up, you ain't taking this shit. Oh, oh you are taking it. Ok, oh you're taking my Dunkaroos too? [mmm 90s snacks, yum] Uhh so are you gonna give my mom the money she paid for all these? No? Of course not, you're just gonna stash all our yummy snacks in your desk drawer! You probably never thought we would know. But you're not that slick. I saw them in there when you opened it one day. YOU ASSHOLE.

^^^therapy session? Maybe a little.

Anyways, her name was Mrs Carmelo. Conveniently close to the candy bar "Caramellooooo, stretch it out out". She was short and stumpy with blackish-blue teeth. She had no right to tell us we couldn't eat junk food. And she certainly had no right to cook cow brains while I'm trying to learn math problems I'll never use [yes, 2nd grade math, who uses it? No one, we have calculators and smart phones]. She was a vile, beastly person. I swear. I would love to see what she's like now but I'm honestly pretty sure she's dead. 

This post was slightly intense, I realize that. 


  1. Sometimes you just gotta vent! Cow brains??! That is SO gross! I would kicked her in the shins if she took my treats.

  2. AAAHHH!! Too crazy. Cow brains are NOT to be made in class... Or EVER!