Top 13 of 2013

Truly, I never expected anyone to read my blog. I started this six months ago and I'm blown away that so many people have become part of something so personal to me. Thank you. As we close out another gone-too-fast year, let's recap on what was enjoyed most on the blog so far! In no particular order...

2 YEAR CALIFORNIVERSARY: The 2 year anniversary of the boyfriend leaving his entire life behind in MA to start a new one here in CA with me. 

...AND I DO MY LITTLE TURN ON THE CATWALK: DeNiro's little adoption story and what happened when he was mistaken for a female!

WHY I MAY NEVER BE A MOM: At this point in my life, I'm not exactly seeing kids in my future. 

PEOPLE ONLY BRING UP YOUR PAST WHEN THEY'RE INTIMIDATED BY YOUR PRESENT: A direct quote from this post.... "Someones past is just that, a past. It's gone. It's sitting in the same place yours is, behind us. Growing up is a real thing. You make mistakes, you hurt people, you get hurt and as life goes on..."

SUSPENDED FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 3 TIMES?!: I was a little bastard in elementary school. 

TEDDY RUXPIN ABUSE: My hellion ways didn't start in elementary school. I was a jerk as a toddler too. 

NOMS.: I've put a few recipes on the blog, but this Paleo Breakfast Egg Bites has been the biggest hit! I think this is actually my most popular post ever, with over 7,000 views. I guess people like eggs.

WHY I LOVE BLOGGING BUT NOT MY "BLOGGING BATTLE": How often do you bite your tongue when writing a post or struggle to hit publish because you wonder if someone is gonna be offended?

PROS AND CONS OF ADULTHOOD: "don't grow up, it's a trap!" 

MY BIGGEST FLAW: I have a really hard time apologizing, and accepting apologies. But I'm learning. 

PAUL WALKER: A sad ending for an amazing human being. The crash site was not far from me, so I went and paid my respects. 

BECKY.: My pug passed way in late 2012 and I shared that heart wrenching loss with you. I want to point out how much I appreciate the love and support on that post. I didn't reply to those comments because every time I go to that post, it breaks my heart again. But I didn't want it to go unnoticed of how much I appreciate you!

I BLOG BECAUSE: My blog is my time capsule and my connection to amazing people all over the country!

I wasn't gonna close out the year without out reminiscing on one of the most amazing things to ever happen to me! My brother and his girlfriend drove 3000 miles across the country, showed up at my door and surprised the shit outta me! We got to spend two incredible weekends together, including my first time ever in Las Vegas! 

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I can't believe I'm actually vlogging... again! I never thought I'd have the balls to do this, especially more than once. Last week I answered some questions you had asked. This week, I'm answering the rest. But I brought a guest along with me to help out.

At some point I said I "had too much wine" and I also kept complaining that he was being un-fun and awkward and not himself (truth!) but then I realized that a few mins in, he asked me to restart it and I was like "I don't wannaaaa"

"noooo kevin!!"

I tried to make this shorter than last week, but failed at that. 

Links I mentioned... aka one link:WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF

Join in the vlogging fun with Ashten!

Always Ashten

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The Queen of Christmas

....needs no introduction. Merry merry to you and yours!


Seriously, one of the best things that will ever grace your life. 
"I feel feel feel it... tell me can ya feel it"... goosebumps.everywhere.

the christmas ANTHEM

the christmas ballad
beautiful, untouchable lyrics and vocals.

"I can't wait to unwrap your love..."

and the ANTHEM two more times, just because... it isn't xmas without it

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The Weekend We Called 911

Where do I even begin with this one? That's a dumb question... the beginning. I'll start with Friday at work. Absolute devastation when I got in that morning. One of my co-workers found her cat dead on the kitchen floor. We sit next to each other and talk about our cats all the time. He is her baby! My heart is shattered for her. I wish there was something I could do, but as someone who has lost pets... I know there isn't. Please keep her in your thoughts. 

Friday was also the day of our company holiday party. This is when they hire a santa, invite all the family and children and have face painting, music, ect. And FOOD. Yea, I've been on Paleo, but the past couple weeks have been a train wreck. And that holiday party was no help. I'll spare the details, you can see for yourself. I went balls to the wall. 

No fucks were given. And that piece of grilled chicken with a few lettuce shreds... trash. They went in the trash. I threw them on the plate to feel less guilty. But when it came down to the moment, I wanted nothing to do with them. Hashtag paleo fail. Yolo.

Let's skip on over to the drama that was Saturday night. I've been wanting a desk for a while. Like, I even begged for it to be my xmas present and the boyfriend was like "I'm not getting you furniture for Christmas.." Anyways, when I want something, I want it. So we headed out on an all day mission, and found the perfect desk on a great sale. Could.Not.Wait to get home and put it together. 

can't wait to decorate it more!

One of the tools we needed to put it together was a hammer. So he went out to his work van to get that and some other tools. Moments later he came back in very unhappy and calling 911. The van was broken into and all his power tools were gone. Thousands of dollars in power tools. Including one that I bought for him as a gift, (motherfuckers steal my gifts! hell no!). He had been storing all my xmas gifts in the van too, which shockingly they did not take. And he was pretty upset that I had now seen my gifts, since he had to bring them in the house in such a frantic rush. [Side note: I didn't see them. I only saw one bag, so I only know of one store he bought something from.] While we waited for the police to come, we started to put the desk together to keep our minds busy. A million hours later when the cops showed up, I stayed inside. And cried. I cried because I was angry. I cried because I was sad for him. And I cried because he had worked SO HARD to build that collection of tools, those things are not cheap and take a long time to build up. I was so devastated that my over dramatic mind went to the worst place, of course. ... "he has no tools, he can't work, we're gonna have no money, we're gonna lose everything!" I pulled myself together and went outside, the cop reassured me that everything will be fine and 99% of the time, insurance will replace everything.  This made me feel a little better. And then CSI showed up. This made me feel much better for a few reasons:

  • we always see the CSI truck and laugh about it, now it was at our house. we laughed again.
  • she was taking fingerprints so I was hopeful that the scum would be caught
  • I felt like I was in a TV show

Sunday morning he talked to his boss and thankfully, insurance WILL cover everything. I don't know why I was worried they wouldn't. This whole thing honestly upset me more than him. Like he was mad, but I was devastated. He was like "this stuff happens all the time".  But this was my first, and hopefully last, so it was really scary to me. Moral of the story, everything is gonna be ok and he's gonna get brand new stuff! Have fun with the used stuff, thieving assholes!

Sunday was also beast mode day. So much so, that I'm struggling to type this. I had the most intense workout of my life at the gym. We did boxing and battle ropes.  I'm pretty positive I'm slightly paralyzed from the muffin top area and up. I can barely lift my arms above my head. As much as it hurts, I feel so good inside knowing that I had such a kick ass workout, and I can't wait to do it again!

Now time for a super intense Monday work day, getting out early, having Tues/Wed off and then back to work for boring Thurs and Fri. I don't know that I'll post again before Christmas, so Merry Merry to everyone that celebrates! Let's stay connected on twitter and instagram! And be sure to check out my sponsors on my sidebar!

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Vlog #1 - Q & A

It only took me 2093567 weeks of Ashten posting Vlog Like A Boss for me to finally suck it up and get on this train. Hi, could anything be more awkward than looking at yourself on the computer screen and talking to yourself? Asking yourself questions and answering them? With no one around? Super awkward. But thanks to distortion and the "loose juice", I was able to calm the awk-nerves and get the shit done. 

I recently hit my 100th post and requested that you ask me some questions to answer. So here comes the awk-train. My very first (and hopefully not last) VLOG!

I say FUCK a lot. 
I say LIKE a lot.
Also, I said "I live really close to home". NO SHIT. What I meant was, "I work really close to home".

Always Ashten

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I Idolize Me.

I think we've all been there. Celebrity obsessed.

When we were younger, so many of us idolized the shit out of celebrities. Like we would die without them. Did we realize how absurd that was? It's sick, really. They are no different from you and me. You are a stranger to them, they don't know you, they don't give a fuck about you, truly. How can they? They don't even know that you exist.

Thankfully, I reached a point awhile ago where I can not give a fuck what my favorite celebrity is doing, or who they like/dislike so I can "stand behind them" and root for whatever they believe/choose. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I am me, not them. I don't care if my favorite singer puts out shitty music, or can't climb the charts anymore. I don't care if Johnny Depp doesn't make the cover of People's Sexiest Man Alive, I don't care to be part of an "internet gang" of stans that spews disgusting and vile negativity to fans of a celebrity they don't like. I don't care if an artist I care for collabs with an artist I don't care for. I don't care if I enjoy Miley while the rest of the world is calling her trash. I don't care if Mariah can't make a #1 song anymore (I have 20+ years of timeless untouchable, beyond meaningful music that I can have til the day I die). I just don't give a fuck. Celebrities are The way some fan bases act is really, more than anything, terrifying.

What I do care about is my life and what I'm doing. And what accomplishments of my own I'm making. No matter how big or small, or what they may mean to anyone else. I've been through umpteen lifetimes in my 31 years. Lifetimes worth of pain, mistakes, hatred, lessons... and I'm content now. I don't need to idolize or obsess over a celebrity or anyone else other than myself. I will idolize ME. Because looking back, I truly can't believe I made it. But I did and everyday I'm patting myself on the back for something.

There are people who will dislike me forever, people who will never be happy for me that I'm happy, people that will always try to bring me down, and people that just cannot let me go and leave me be. And I just don't care anymore.

I care about my daily adventures, no matter how fun or mundane, and I care about sharing those adventures with my readers. I care about my job and how much I've grown at it, and how happy I am to be part of an incredible little family. I care about constantly improving myself to be a better me. I care about continuing to grow and learn in my relationship so I can be a better girlfriend. I care about trying to eat better and exercise so I can be healthy. I care about moving forward from all the darkness behind me, blocking out any negativity and not allowing it in, so I can be at peace.

I care about my life. And I don't care if you don't care about my life. It's mine and finally after 31 years... I love it.

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I'm late to the party on this one. Erin created this brilliant and fun quiz/link-up inspired by the monthly Cosmo quiz. I'm already itching to answer more, so maybe she'll do a different one each month (nudge nudge, wink wink). I've enjoyed seeing these floating around and wanted to join the fun. 


Meet Tori!

She's the girl behind A Little Leigh Way. Lover of white wine (yum!), and Netflix, and maker of Bacon Bloody Mary's! I asked this Jersey girl a few questions so we can get to know her better. 

Why did you start blogging?
I started blogging during a quarter life crisis, I felt trapped and like I wasn't doing anything other than working. I was looking for a hobby and fell in love with it!

What is your blogging goal?
My main goal with blogging is to learn everything I can about social media, I love it & would love to help small businesses improve their social media sites. 

If you were to invent a new holiday, what would it be and how would we celebrate it?  
OMG YES. I love holidays! I would love to have a holiday that surrounds health, wellness and self confidence. I would recommend celebrating this by doing some yoga, going shopping and then cocktails. Because nothing boosts confidence like a martini. It would definitely be in February or March, because those are the most boring winter months here on the east coast. 

Tell us two random facts about yourself.
I am 100% obsessed with Christmas & have never been (and will never) on a roller coaster.

Check out some of her favorite posts like warning signs early in a relationship, and a must read about twerking and her feelings on it

Tori and her man Spencer, the one that had no red flags!

Keep up with Tori on Bloglovin, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest!

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Friday the 13th

This is gonna be one of the most "blogger fail" photo posts ever. But it wouldn't be a Monday without a post about the weekend. And if you stopped by these parts on Friday, you'll know it was the boyfriend's birthday. Which really just means that ... celebrating a birthday on a Friday night calls for spending most of Saturday and Sunday recovering in bed. 

Early Friday evening, we headed over to Hollywood. We had a reservation at a well reviewed Italian joint. I've said this many times before... the food in LA sucks! Like really really sucks. So we were super shocked that we actually enjoyed the food here! Still wasn't like the Italian food back home, but it was the best we've found in LA so far. We cheated on paleo hardcore! Fried mozzarella, pizza, bread, and bone marrow. Ew, the bone marrow was all him.  

Much like the average female, I couldn't decide what to wear. So I went all diva, and chose two outfits for the evening. Remember, I said this was a blogger fail photo post. As in, I pretty much have the worst pictures ever to share. Like my first outfit. This is the best picture I could come up with. While waiting for the bathroom, I just decided to snap a pic of my feet. With half a bottle of wine running thru my bloodstream, I suppose it's at least slightly understandable.

And then we stopped at home before heading out with friends and I changed and only took mirror pics. Which caused me to be photobombed by DeNiro and the birthday dude.

"hurry up, we're late" ... "sorry I need to take mirror selfies"

The bar we went to was alright. Apparently it was reggae night, so there were some bands playing and it was whatever. There were a lot of shots, and that's about all I remember. The boyfriend was the most drunk I had ever seen him in 3 years. So drunk, I swore someone slipped him a roofie. Turns out he wasn't roofied, just mixed a shit ton of booze.

2 vodka/cran
1 jack honey/coke
3 fireball shots
2 Patron shots
1 Jager shot 
1 shot Jack
5 shots of Jack Honey
1 shot of Jameson

Unintentionally, that is 13 shots on Friday the 13th. And if I'm being honest, I'd say it was the Jager that pushed the limit. That shit just doesn't belong being mixed with anything. Just looking at that list makes me wanna puke. If I drank all that, I would barf out all my insides and be hospitalized or dead. Incredibly, all he did was pass out.  

With so much alcohol being consumed, you can imagine that the photo ops were not anything as planned. After going through my phone, I'm gonna say pretty much nothing is post worthy. But I'll throw a few up just for laughs. 

what is even happening with me up there in the corner?!

After coming home Saturday morning and grabbing some food, we climbed into bed and slept until 6:00 pm and I was so thrown off, I thought it was 6am on a weekday and I was late for work. With a hangover in tow, we grew balls and headed out for some Christmas shopping. It didn't last long, after two stores, we headed back home, watched a movie and then we were down for the count!

Sunday morning was much better. Like brand new, but somehow still exhausted. Finished up my xmas shopping and spent the rest of the day on the couch. Boom.

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You Old Fart

The boyfriend turns 32 today. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that we first met when we were 13. And now we're into our 30's. You're probably thinking "wow they've been together for a really long time!". Nah, only approaching 3 years. We had a short lived puppy love romance when we were kids. And by romance I mean, we held hands on the city bus and made out in a parking garage. Soon after, we went our separate ways for basically a whole lifetime. Then reunited a few years ago and the rest is history that you can read here and here

Today for his birthday he got what every old man wants. Coffee. I got him a Keurig so I don't have to listen to him whine anymore about how much he wants one. Now I just have to hear about the xbox one. (As if the cat hasn't been tortured enough with the one we have now). Although, I secretly want it too just because it's perfect for people like me who are lazy by nature and would rather not lift a 2 ounce remote. It's way more fitting for my type to just say "xbox! wipe my ass."

I'm going so far off track of this post. I had planned to write a sweet loving "letter" to him for his b-day. I could just recycle what I put on facebook for our anniversary earlier this year. That was a winner. I really hit the spot with him on that one. The tough guy that never cries, shed a few tears of joy. Ok, ok, I'll share it with you. 

I know, I'm fucking precious. How am I gonna top that for his birthday today!? Oh yea, he got a Keurig.

Ok but really though, all that above still holds strong. Except he understands my fear of salmonella more. He does still interrupt me and annoy me. He's still working really hard, which is going to be paying off amazingly in the next year or so. We're crossing our fingers that this next year goes as planned. He deserves it! He still teaches me so much about life and myself. But most importantly, he's taught me how to love and be happy. Another most important.... he still puts up with my crappy tv choices; like Pump Rules, Shahs, and Bad Girls Club.

Happy Birthday to the best person to ever walk into my life. Happy Birthday to the person that still loves me after all the crazy spazzy cunty moments I've put him through. Happy Birthday to the person I have the most fun with, laugh the most with, and love the most with. Happy Birthday to my Robert!

Pets Are People Too #2

wait, what even is this thing? am i doing it right? 

hello world.  it's me.
i need your help to end the existence of this device that taunts me in my kingdom. my parents call it the xbox. why i call them my parents, i don't even know. they look nothing like my handsome self. in fact, they're weird looking and have no fur and if i'm being honest here, that really creeps me out. but they cover themselves in these things i like to pull out of the drawers. i think they're called clothes. so i guess that's like fur. whatever.

anyways back to this torturous xbox thing. i hate it. i try to kill it every single day. for the past year. my dad even stacked dvds in front of it but i keep pushing them out of the way to get to this bastard contraption. then he got out the water bottle and sprayed me! asshole! but i showed him, i went right back. again and again. i must defeat this xbox. i don't understand it, but i know it's evil. i use my nose to bring it to life, and then it throws itself at me! who does that!? and sometimes it does it on it's own!! it's so scary! i totally freeze up when it opens.

this thing is rude and distracting and i want it gone.

this is me all stressed out. and my parents are laughing at me because they are assholes. i really freeze up big time around the 1 minute mark. i got so focused on it's death. i freeze for about an entire minute!


i left this post to go do cat stuff. a week later, i'm back. and i have great news. i killed it! i heard the parents say something about "unplugged". that must be another word for the cat has ruled his kingdom and has defeated the xbox. so it turns out that i don't need your help at all. but thanks for stopping by. i'm gonna go lick my butthole now. bye!

ps- my mom might do a vlog next week! but she can only do it with your help. go check out THIS POST and see what i'm talking about. also, if you help enough and she does it, i'll probably make a cameo because i'm nosy.

i hope my writing was ok. i don't have thumbs and i don't talk human very well. 

xoxo, DeNiro

Jade and Oak

Ask Away

So check it. (10 points if you know what movie that's from)... I'm almost at my 100th post and I wanted to do something for it. I thought about ad discounts, but that's been kinda typical around these parts lately. So instead I decided to do another common theme among bloggers. QUESTIONS! 

Ask me whatever you want and I'll answer whatever you ask. You can comment on this post with your question, ask me on twitter, or email me at Questions can be blog related, personal, random (like my fave to ask: "when you eat a taco, do you turn your head or the taco?"), anything you want!

Depending on how many questions I get..... I might answer in a vlog! GASP! Yes, I might finally do my first vlog. Ashten will be so proud if I do. 

So get your curiosity pumping!