Don't Try So Hard

So I guess it started with the whole Colbie song and video. And now the theme is popping up all over the internet with all kinds of different hashtags. Today, some of my favorite blogland friends are hashtagging #donttrysohard and we're all linking up to show our bare faces!  A quote from Kate's post "set aside the filters, the makeup, the staged photos, etc. for just a day and remember that underneath all the props and careful planning, we too are so beautiful!" 

She makes a really great point about the props and careful planning. In blogland (and pretty much the land of Instagram) we take 32906728 pictures of the same thing until we get the perfect angle with the perfect lighting. And then we add the perfect filter and adjust the brightness and sharpening until that ONE photo is perfect perfect perfect. Because let's be honest, the blogging community, almost all of social media and basically the entire internet is all visual. Photos everywhere! And there's tips and tricks all over the place on how to make your photos more appealing. See also: Pinterest.  So how can we not fall into this trap of "perfection"?

I'm one of those people. I have millions of multiples in my camera roll. I have a handful of photo editing apps on my phone. And I LOVE wearing makeup. I love buying it, I love applying it, I love walking out the door with it on, I love how it enhances my features and I love how it makes me feel so pretty. But today I'm gonna join in on what can also be nicknamed as "no makeup monday" and not try so hard with a face full of makeup and 295793 selfies and then pick the best one and use 2 apps to edit it. I'm just gonna go balls to the wall and bare all for you. 

DeNiro was not interested in being part of this. He was busy doing cat stuff. As you can see. It's funny, I actually did take more than one selfie because the first one I took I noticed he was sleeping behind me, so I had to scratch that and have a do-over by pointing and laughing at him. Twice.

Ah, Sunday scrub day. Lounging around lazy and carefree feels so good. As much as I love makeup, I really do also enjoy a fresh clean face and letting it get a break from all that gunk.  Which is how I am 90% of the time when I'm home. 

If you're feeling brave and wanna stand tall in your natural beauty, come show us all what you got! Join me in linking up with Kate, Jackie and Nicole!

Jade and Oak

Bye beautiful! xoxo

I'll Never Be Who I Want To Be

I had a shitty weekend. Like really bad. Let's be honest, this whole year so far has been a downfall and that's been made clear in many of my previous posts. A lot of times people use their blogs for fun posts, or fluffer posts, or just a hobby or sometimes, to be real with some shit. I've fallen in to the "real with some shit" quite a few times and that's what I'm here to do again today. But this time, I'm taking it way back and I'm going deep. I was going to do a Draw My Life, as I mentioned a couple months ago. But I have no idea how, so I'm gonna start with this. 

Something is wrong with me. Something inside of me is broken and damaged and tainted beyond repair. And it ruins my daily life and it destroys all of my relationships and friendships. I had a very dark and dysfunctional childhood. I didn't really have a dad - he would show up every once in a while and pretend to care, and then leave again for however long he wanted. My mom was ill, she had her own childhood traumas that she was dealing with and somewhere between my age of 4-7 I started to notice. She had breakdowns and eventually ended up in the hospital. This put my brother and I in a situation of "who is gonna take us?" We have a very large family, my mom had 9 brothers and sisters and her parents. And then there was my dad. But no one wanted us. So we became the state's property. We got separated and I went to a foster home. I missed my best friend, my brother. All we had was each other, the times when my mom would be having some sort of psycho episode, he held me, he took care of me, he was all I had. And they separated us.  While I was lucky enough to be in a decent foster home (rather than one of those horror stories you hear about), I was confused as to why I couldn't just be with my mommy. Why did I have to visit her around so many weird crazy people behind locked doors? Why did she say weird things that I didn't understand? What is wrong with mommy?  

I remember being with her at my dad's house one day. She fell into one of her episodes and he left. He just left. And left me there with her. I was 6. I still hate him for that. I still remember standing at the window and watching him drive away while she sobbed on the floor next to me. What was I supposed to do? I was 6. I hugged her and told her it would be ok, but I didn't know if that was even true because I didn't even know what was wrong.  Another time when my dad was at our house, my mom locked herself in the bathroom to harm herself and my dad was on the couch just reading the newspaper and letting her do what she wanted. I remember pulling his arm, trying to get him to get up, and I was crying and begging him to go get her and help her. He didn't want to be bothered. I went upstairs and was banging on the door, screaming and crying and he finally came and got her to open the door. I was probably 6 or 7 at this point too.  

I could type out story after story of shit that went down. But this chaos, this lack of love, affection, attention, development, all of what a child needs, is why I grew up to be a horrible person. I was shitty to my friends throughout elementary and middle school and well into adult life, I was jealous of the families my friends had. I made all the wrong choices, I chose all the wrong guys to date, I hurt people I cared about and then didn't really care that I hurt them. I cut people out of my life without a blink. I became incredibly self destructive, some ways the same as my mother, and other ways I turned to substance abuse. There were periods of my life where I wanted to die, I would do so many drugs that I hoped it killed me, I didn't feel purpose here. I was never taught right from wrong, I learned the hard way, I was never taught to love so I always do that wrong too. I never was given the chance to develop my emotions properly as a child so I'm a raging lunatic that lets my emotions destroy everything good that comes along. I have severe anger issues because as a child I was so angry that I was alone, that I had to take care of my mom, that I had to see the things I had to see, that no one wanted me so I had to be taken to a new family, that often times I was forgotten and left behind and a teacher had to stay with me until someone remembered to pick me up. I was forgotten! I'm stuck with these extreme abandonment issues because of all these people and I'm angry. I'm angry because I wasn't given what a child deserves. And I have carried that with me throughout all the important moments of my life. I'm 32 years old now and it still sits in me and it still ruins my life and relationships. It's never going to go away, so I will never be the happy and peaceful and loving person that I want to be. I can't be who I want to be, and that's not fair.  I'm damaged and destructive and I destroy everything I come across. I've gone to therapists since I was in the womb, I've been on almost every medication you can think of.... I'm not changing. I've tried, it doesn't happen. I am who I am, and it's very fucking unfortunate. 

One of the first posts here that I ever made was reasons of why I'll probably never be a mom. But to be honest, this is really why. I don't want my kid to end up like me and I don't want to end up like my mom. I want to end this cycle of childhood dysfunction and pain. How could I possibly give a child what they need when I'm still this damaged at 32 years old? I can't. And that is also very unfortunate. 

How Do I Apple?

The small child in me is jumping with excitement because I bought an iMac! The sad child in me wants to cry because I.DO.NOT.UNDERSTAND. How do I copy and paste with keyboard commands? Why did I scroll down on the mouse but it chose to scroll up? What the fuck is Cloud and how on earth do I do something with it?  Apple, why you so confusing?  Ok, I know I can google all this stuff. But I'm sure some of you have made the PC to Mac jump before. Was it easy for you? Am I just a dummy? I know I have about zero patience to learn things like this, but really, why is it so ... backwards?

I figured out the mouse scrolling thing. But WHAT IS CLOUD? When I got my iPhone last year, I was so utterly confused about cloud, I just disabled it and moved on with my life. Now, I clearly need it. Also, why is iPhoto so confusing? Why can't it just be simple like Windows? [insert Peevy whining...whaaaah!].  I guess I have a lot of tutorials to start watching. I'm way too PC brainwashed to figured this out quick. 

My biggest issue though, photo editing. At some point last year I posted that I wanted to learn Photoshop. I got the trial and basically gave up immediately because like I said, I have zero patience. It was SO fucking hard. Like dumb hard. But now, I have to have it. Since about 2004 I've been using Corel Paint Shop Pro and I'm great at it and I'm comfortable with it and I've used several versions and I just love it. But it's sadly not compatible with Mac. Sad because I paid for that shit, and sad because ugh I have to learn Photoshop now. HELP. When I tried it out last year, I went on so many tutorials from Pinterest and YouTube and I just could not get it. 

Does anyone have Photoshop? Which one do you have? Because another confusing thing is when I got to the site, there are SO MANY OPTIONS. How do I know what's right? The $9.99 a month one? Or will that limit me? How big of a package should I get? THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. I'm just so confused you guys, and I'm in need of some serious guidance. If you have any "easy to understand" tutorials, please, I bow down to you, send them my way!

/End of desperate cry baby post.

When Bloggers Go Bonkers

I'm going to go ahead and assume (I know, awful to do) that at this point, most of the blogging world - specifically the lifestyle crew- has been made aware of a little cray-cray that went down recently. Like to the extent of faking your death. Whaaat!? I know, my jaw is still on the floor. Yes, a blogger went bonkers and faked her death. At the height of the whole situation, many of us were expressing our shock and confusion on Twitter. One thing I remember discussing with a few others is, how can we trust each other in the blog world? I mean, trust is hard enough in life, with anyone! And here we are putting trust into total strangers, people that we've never met and may never meet, voices we have never even heard, just a body on the other end of the line. Who are you?  We come here and pour out so much and connect so much to each other, but like I've mentioned before, we don't really know each other.

A lot people thought they knew this blogger, she was very good at throwing herself out there, a little too fucking much if you ask me. She was very over the top, and some people saw that as passionate (see also: psychotic) so she ended up making a lot of people think she had good intentions in blogland. Designing blogs, setting up meet-ups, excessive promotions of herself and others.... but it was all a lie. She stole money from bloggers, she stole recipes and photos of recipes that other bloggers worked so hard on and posted them as her own, and the list goes on. This is where the trust issue comes in. People trusted her. People praised her on those recipes, people sent her money, people signed up to meet her, people sponsored her.... and then she lost her shit and she vanished. According to her, she died. But no, she just got caught, couldn't handle it, lied, made fake accounts to "help" her lies, and then went to the top of the drama scale and faked her fucking death. Instead of apologizing and refunding people, she deleted EVERYTHING, including her email so no one could contact her about getting refunded. These people trusted her. They trusted a total stranger. 

Us bloggers, we are trusting people, clearly because we put ourselves out there for the entire world to see and judge. But where do we draw the line on that? Should I now be questioning if my favorite bloggers are who they say they are? Are some of my readers and blog friends wondering if they can trust me?  What she did was unfair on so many levels. Unfair to her readers, sponsors, family, friends, and all other bloggers. Because aside from stealing from bloggers, she has left a space for us to all start questioning each other. And that's not fair. 

So a little PSA to new bloggers: do not steal from bloggers, do not make multiple accounts pretending to be someone you're not, do not fake your death (especially if you have a kid - the internet never forgets), and let's all try to keep the crazy at a minimum. 

If you are someone that fell into one of her traps and got screwed, check out Stephanie's post. She is offering free ad space to you!

Edit: Ugh, and she's back again, with another fake account and still claiming she did nothing wrong.
Have a Manic Monday everyone!! 

Edit: She's gone again. She came back to admit she started it, still blamed others for all the other accounts and fake death, said nothing about stole recipes. When everyone questioned her about the recipes, she left again.

The Day My Life Changed

Last year I wrote this post, 2 Year Californiversary.  Today I just really want to say "wow". Three years ago my life completely changed. The one that makes my heart feel alive and worthy moved 3000 miles away from everything he's ever known, just to be with me. Three years ago, I felt complete. And through all the ups and the oh so many downs, I still feel complete. It has been a lot of hard work in so many areas of this life we're continuing to build together, and even on the worst days, it's the best hard work I've ever done. Nothing and no one has ever made me feel beautiful, nothing and no one has ever made me feel important and worthy, nothing and no one has ever loved me the way Robert does.

Last year I talked about how we started with nothing and had to get every little thing when we got our own place. This year, we upgraded to a 2 bedroom apartment, have taken 2 trips to Vegas (3rd on the way), worked together to improve our credit, moved forward and up in the world of credit, had family be able to visit and stay with us, made big purchases like the TV we drooled over for so long, spent a weekend in Orange County for a Kid Rock concert , had a fire in the building and I lost my shit over it, joined a gym together, almost won the lottery but lost by two numbers, celebrated DeNiro's 1st birthday, sent out the best holiday card ever and took lots of selfies. 

This has been the best 3 years of my life and there is no one that could ever exist that I would rather live this life with. Thank you Robert! 

My Current Beauty Favorites

Back in May I did a little post of what I was currently loving in the beauty department. I mentioned that it was all brought on by my obsession with beauty gurus on YouTube and I'm here to say that .... the obsession will not be dying off anytime soon. I went on some major splurges and I also had my birthday thrown in there too so I have been able to try out lots of new products, lots! I've been figuring out what works for me and what doesn't. And I'm currently at a place where I'm very happy with what I'm using and that I can take a break from searching for the best products for me.  I'm sure my bank account and credit cards really appreciate this. I'm also going back to Vegas in September so a spending freeze is very needed right now. 

Lush Tea Tree Water: THIS STUFF. I fucking love this stuff. It's for the exact skin type that I have - oily, redness, spotty, blemish prone... and I swear it has helped me. I'm legit obsessed with this spray. It's made with tea tree, juniper berry and grapefruit, it smells amazing, feels so refreshing and has brought my skin back to life. I got the small bottle since I wasn't sure if it was gonna be bullshit or not but now I need the big bottle and I need it for life. Since I have oily skin and wear makeup everyday, I tend to get a couple pimples here and there and I always get at least one when my period is coming. But not with this gem. I spray it every time I wash my face, shower, take off my makeup and sometimes randomly throughout the day if I'm lounging at home and not wearing makeup just because when I'm not using it, I miss it. I want it on my face always. 

Lush Lip Scrub - Bubblegum: I have tried so many lip products, everything that says "medicated" and everything exfoliating and nothing has worked like this. I can put chapstick on every hour on the hour and I will still have chapped lips and like pieces of skin just chillin' there that I can bite off. I took to Twitter in complete desperation for a second time to find out something that might work and this was suggested. My desperate ass immediately bought it and after one use I noticed a difference. I've been using it for a month now and my lips have never been like this. I'm in love. (Between this and the above, how did I never try Lush products before?!)

Boscia No Pores No Shine T-Zone Treatment: This should maybe go under the "I'm not sure if this is a favorite" category. By now we know that I have very oily skin (only on my face, the rest of my body is dry as a lizard) and I was under the impression that if I spent a little more, I would get something that works. Meh. This cost almost forty dollars, I've been using it twice a day for a month and I'm still not sure if it's doing anything. I do still get oily throughout the day, but I think I'm less oily... maybe? I don't know. And I don't know if it's due to this or all the other 3257296 oil control products I'm using. Has anyone messed with this before? Did it work for you?

Skindinavia Makeup Setting Spray - oil control: I had been wanting to try this forever but felt it was a bit pricey. I happen to hit their site one day when they were having a little sale and I finally went for it. I love this setting spray! I've tried the Urban Decay and MakeUp Forever and loved them, but this is much better for me. I will for sure be purchasing it again but I think I'll get the "bridal" one next time because that one is like cry-proof and sweat-proof and in the So-Cal heat I think a sweat-proof setting spray is a necessity. With this, I also got a sample of the primer which you can see below.  

NYX Matte Finish Setting Spray: Ok so here is where I get torn with the above because I love this one too!!! Especially since it's a matte finish. And you can't beat the price, it's only a few bucks. When it comes to this and the Skindinavia, it's usually a win of whichever one is closer to me when I reach for them. Or when I'm doing heavy makeup, I'll set my foundation and concealer with the Skindinavia, then complete the rest of my makeup and finish the whole thing with the NYX Matte spray. 

Nip + Fab Viper Venom Eye Fix: Ulta sent me a 40% coupon for this and I had never heard of this brand before. But it's 40% off of something to help my eye wrinkles so yea, give it to me. I guess it doesn't totally belong in this post because I've only been using it for 2 days so I don't even know if I love it yet. But it sounds pretty awesome and I'm hoping it helps. Has anyone used this??

Skindinavia Primer Spray: Like I mentioned above, this was a sample I received when I purchased the finishing spray. The first reason I love this is simply because it's a spray. Every other primer I've ever used has to be applied with your fingers. I was using the Benefits Porefessional, ugh it's expensive and I really didn't see what the big deal was. I think my makeup sits perfectly fine on this and I will be buying the full size. But of course, the oil-control one. 

NYX Pore Filler: While I don't think this is "omg so amazing", it's the best I have found so far. It does fill the giant pores on my cheeks, but I have to put a lot of it on to make some sort of a difference. And it ain't cheap so I used it up pretty quickly and that bummed me out. If anyone has suggestions for a better pore filler, send it my way. Until then, I will probably stick with this one and only use it for special occasions. 

Rimmel Matte BB Cream: I honestly stopped using BB creams almost a year ago because I felt they were pointless and made no difference. Clearly, I kept trying the wrong ones. I absolutely love this one and I will buy it over and over forever. Although, this one will probably last forever because you only need a very small amount for your entire face. And it's a matte finish so duh, my oily face loves it. The only not so great thing I'll say is that it's a very thin liquid so it flows out quickly and almost always makes a mess. 

Kat Von D Lock-It Tattoo Foundation: Finally! I got this! I got a Sephora gift card for my birthday and decided it's finally time to get the expensive foundation I'd been eyeballing for so so long. I was super paranoid that I was gonna hate it. As soon as I got home, I took off my current make up and put this on. Legit, And hiiiiiiii it's MATTE! Such full coverage, so matte, so smooth. I just love it so much. And when you apply it with the Beauty Blender... omg just perfection. Since it is on the pricey side, it's my "special occasion foundation". 

Ugh mascaras will be the death of me. I've probably tried hundreds in my life and hate them all. Every one of them flakes and falls into my eyeballs and irritates my eyes all the live long day. Until now. 

Maybelline Illegal Lengths Mascara: I had no idea what I was getting into with this, I just went for it. And on my first day wearing it, I made it to the end of the day with NO FLAKES and was super excited. It also does what it says, makes my lashes really long. But the no flaking part is the most important part for me. 

Tarte Lights, Camera, Flash Mascara: I actually got this in a subscription box a long time ago. I think I used it a few times and thought I hated it. But I pulled it out recently and realized it's pretty damn amazing. It makes my lashes huge and long and full and DOES NOT FLAKE. I don't prefer it for my bottom lashes but love it for my top lashes. 

CK One Mascara: Um, this should also go under the "not sure if it's a favorite yet" category because I also just got this two days ago. It was a birthday gift from Ulta. Apparently it's a pretty good mascara. It has a twist thing at the top and you can change the extension of the brush for a different effect. Pretty cool. I'll be wearing it to work tomorrow to find out if it flakes or not, so I'll keep you posted. Has anyone tried this?

Lush Translucent Setting Powder: Pricey, but lasts forever because I only use it to set my under eye concealer. It smells amazing, my concealer never creases and it's a mattifying powder ;)

Revlon PhotoReady Translucent Finish Powder: I live and die by this stuff. It's my holy grail product right now. I carry it in my purse with a little EcoTools brush and apply it to my chin, forehead, nose and under eyes whenever I start to feel oily throughout the day. I use oil blotter sheets first, then brush this on real quick and my face is immediately matte again. When I was in Vegas last month, I used this constantly to fight against the Vegas heat. I LOVE THIS STUFF. 

Smooth Sexy Hair - Smooth and Seal shine spray: I mentioned in my last beauty faves post that I was hating every hair product and was having a hard time finding things I love - because everything I love gets discontinued. I picked up this mini size from Ulta and fell in love with it right away. Since the SexyHair products are not cheap, I wanted to get the mini one to try it out. It's been a few days and I already know that I will be going to grab the full size of this. With my new hairstyle, I'm finding that blow drying it is gonna have to become a habit, but I'm terrible at it and no matter what I do or use, I end up with a giant frizzy lions mane. This stuff calmed it right the fuck down and I'm sold! (But really, how the hell does one give themselves a blowout?! It's impossible. I can't do it.)

RealTree perfume: I have a really hard time finding perfumes that I love. I could probably list five that I've like in my whole life. I got this sample in my Ipsy recently and I wore it the whole weekend in Vegas, loved it, the boyfriend loved it and I'll be getting the full size. Because how can I not? It's only 20 bucks!

Whoa, that was a lot! And this post is filled with Lush products and they were all the first products I've ever bought from them. I guess I love them! Ironically, I'm also giving away a gift card to Lush over on Whispering Sweet Nothings. So if you're interested in trying any of the things I mentioned (especially the Tea Tree Water) head over there and enter to win! There's a bunch of other goodies in that giveaway too. 

Also, I joined Jackie and friends at Jade and Oak for a $150 Urban Outfitters giveaway!! 

Happy Monday! jk lol, Monday's suck. But lets try to have a happy one!


I Did It - Short Hair Ombre

Let me start of my saying OMG I DID IT thank you for everyone's opinions, comments, help and support yesterday when I was in a frenzy about cutting my hair. Yesterday was a little chaotic, with all the discussion here and on twitter about it, I also let that flow over into talking to co-workers about it. And almost immediately one of them was like "call right now! just call now, now!" And I was like "eeeek ok, maybe I can make an appt for tomorrow and be fresh for the 4th of July". I called. They said "come in today at 6:30!!" And I thought to myself holy shit no, I need one more day, omg can I do this today, really? And then I calmly and excitedly said "OK!" And then spent the rest of the work day having a nervous breakdown. I went home, told the boyfriend - who prefers the long dark hair - and scrolled on through Pinterest to find more pictures that weren't just of Nicole. I made a "hair" album in my photos on my iPhone, sucked it up, and headed to the salon.

Like I mentioned yesterday, I always tell her "trim and keep the long layers". So when I told her what I was really there for, she was like "MAKEOVER!" We went through my pictures, and she showed me some of hers too to comfort me in the fact that she knew what I was talking about, and off she went to go make her mixtures. We did a root touch up because I'm old as trees and I have a gazillion gray hairs (been getting them since I was 23), and then she started on the ombre. This was all totally ok with me because the color was not what I was nervous about, I've been dying to get rid of the brown and have some golden again. I don't think I've mentioned it here before but I'm one of those hair chameleons, I've had every color you can think of... post for another day... but that golden color has always been my favorite. And I missed it and I was super pumped to be getting it back. As she moved me over to the dryer, and then to wash it all out, the nerves started to kick in... the cut was coming. 

I sat down in the chair and we once again went over exactly where I want my hair to lay when curly, because it's shorter when it's curly. She clipped my hair up, grabbed the first section to cut and said "Kelly, I cannot believe you are cutting your hair"... because she knows how scared I get with just trims. And she was like "are you ready?" YUP. She turned me away from the mirror so I couldn't see until it was time for the end result and BOOM. I love it. 

I love that I can wear it pretty like how she did it last night, or beachy like how I have it today, or straight and sleek, and also still be able to put it up because I didn't go too short. I've already been blushing all morning with the compliments from co-workers and the comments on my Instagram and Facebook. People always say that a big hair change can boost your confidence.... I think this has happened to me. I feel so pretty. 


If you're in the LA area and need someone amazing to do your hair, this was done by Rachel at Joseph Lamar Salon in Burbank. Although she's been the only person I've been going to for awhile, she is absolutely officially the only person allowed to touch my hair from now on. She did such an amazing job!

I also happen to be part of 2 amazing giveaways today - go check them out!!
Jade & Oak | $150 Urban Outfitters
Whispering Sweet Nothings | gift cards, beauty products, ad space and more!

Long Hair vs Short Hair

I'm really hoping that this is something many of you deal with and maybe can also help knock some sense into me - I'm having a major battle with myself in the hair department. My hair is long right now, middle of my back long and it has taken me 4 years to get it there. Did you read that? Four years. I love it long, I love long hair so much. But, it's kinda just there and I've been unhappy with it for quite sometime now. I have really thin hair so although it's a decent length, it doesn't do anything marvelous.

See, it's just there - even when I try to do something nice to itEvery time I go to my stylist I say "trim and keep the long layers". How boring, I know. And now I should say "I'm just so over it" but I'm terrified to because it took me four years to get this. But the truth is that I am over it, I think. I don't know. I'm scared! It's just boring and doesn't do anything and I feel like I need a little va-voom kind of change in this department.

So if you're obsessed with beauty gurus like I am, you may have seen that Nicole Guerriero recently chopped her locks into a long bob-ish, kinda, and it's gorgeous! It's also a length very similar to what I've had many times in the past - so it should feel safe, right? No guys, I'm so scared to make this decision. Yea it's "just hair" and "it will grow back" but mine grows so slowly and I don't wanna wait another few years if I decide that I hate this va-voom change. I'm at this place right now where I'm like "all I've ever wanted is for my hair to be long again....... now my hair is long and I don't know what to do with it other than cut it." The struggle, it's real and it's a bus that I'm on. 

pix from Nicole's Instagram - to get an idea of the length

Let's weigh this out a bit. 

  • The cons of having long hair: so much work, so much product, so much money on product. 
  • The pros of having long hair: YOU HAVE LONG HAIR and it took forever to get it! 
  • The cons of having short hair: you no longer have long hair, if you want long hair again you're gonna have to wait it out a couple years. 
  • The pros of having short hair: a lot less work to maintain, a lot less product used and money spent on product, quicker showers, quicker to get ready everyday, you'll look in the mirror and feel like a fresh new woman, and if you really want long hair again.... you can get extensions