Not Your Average Booze-Infused Gummy Bears

One of the most common ways to booze-infuse your candy is to soak some gummy bears in vodka. To me, that's boring and played out. But still a brilliant original idea! I wanted to try something different and take it up a notch. After spending forever trying to decide which favorite drink recipe I should drown these babies in, I went with something that's more on the candy side. Gummy bears and Jolly Ranchers have united in my home and in no way do I regret it.

I took a simple "jolly rancher shot" recipe, multiplied it by a gazillion and trapped a pound of gummy bears in a pool of deliciousness where they were left to die soak up a bowl of booze for 24 hours. 

What You Need:
Melon Rum
Apple Pucker (or Razzmatazz!) I had some Puckers handy so I went with that
Peach Vodka  

What You Do:
There are no measurements because I don't play that game here {see previous recipes}. We wing it over here, experimentation and all that. 

  • Drop the kids in the pool, er, dump the bears in a bowl/container
  • Pour the liquors you picked, in equal or non equal parts - make your choice (said like Saw) - until bears are fully covered, and stir them up so they don't stick together
  • Seal 'em up tight and throw them in the fridge and no touchies for 24 hours
  • After 24 hrs, eat the shit out of them
  • Smile.

I hope that you will try this recipe and enjoy it! Let me know if you do and how you like it! And if you do any other variations like gummy sharks, or worms and what alcohols you pick. 

Happy Friday!

Back To School Shopping

Sometimes I miss school shopping. Nothing like the feeling of rocking all new shit for the first week of school. New clothes, new shoes, new pencil case, new scrunchies, new trapper keeper! I remember this one store that I did almost all of my school shopping in, it was called Bob's (maybe it still is? I have no idea.) and I got all my Mudd jeans there and the most trendy tops to go with. I was obsessed with Skechers and specifically remember being die hard to the Jammers and the Energy.

I literally had those exact Mudd jeans that had those stripes down the side. Omg I love Google images haha!

And back when Staples was still popular (seriously, have you gone into a Staples recently? Ghost. Town.) I'd get all the coolest notebooks and pick a color theme and get all the matching pencil cases, erasers, protractors, and of course... the newest set of pens that was out! Most likely some glitter gel crap in neon colors that every teacher is gonna give you shit for. But who cares, glitter gel pens! The best part of this whole annual adventure, you didn't spend a dime on all this new gear because PARENTS. These days, shopping is not so much fun when you're swiping a card that has your name on it. Ugh, adulthood.

Everywhere I turn I'm seeing "Back to School SALE!" with resting bitch face teenagers trying to decide which crop top will be more skanky trendy. I can't help but wonder what kind of nightmare I was when school shopping. I do currently need some new clothes though, so maybe I'll go battle out the racks with the cool kids and take advantage of some of the sales. 

Electronics and home essentials at Amazon
Clothes and supplies at Amazon
Clothes at Kohl's outta my way TEENS! I'm small enough to wear juniors so gimme all the clothes!
Sneakers at Sports Authority  yes please, I will take all the Asics and the children shall have none.
Staples sure, I'll take a $20 flash drive for 7 bucks. sign me up!

Happy shopping my lovely internet friends!

What the hell did I just write?
I think I just wanted to use this classic gif.


Dear 12th Grade Kelly,

Get off your ass and do something. No really, get up now. Find a passion and run with it because the rest of this letter aka your future, is not pretty for awhile. Don't say I didn't warn you. 

Don't start dating the cute guy at work. It's gonna be a chaotic two years and you'll learn a lot but it will do more damage than if you just live your life for you and focus on love later on. 

Apply to more colleges and be genuine about it. Don't take the easy way out and "just work", it will give you too much freedom in an already wild existence and you'll make a lot of bad choices for the next decade. And if you don't want to go to a "real" college, find a trade you love. You're really gonna wish you took your friends advice when she said "just go to beauty school with me". And if you ignore that, you're gonna end up taking a course for something you don't care about and just to get people off your back about school. You'll get a job in that industry for a year before realizing how much you hate it and you'll still be paying a school loan every month when you're in your thirties. And trust me, you're gonna complain about it every.single.month. And then eventually desk job after desk job, you'll settle into one you're happy at. But you won't be fully happy because you'll have no room for growth, you'll be banking typical corporate America priced paychecks, and you'll have zero room for creativity. And your wild mind needs it! Although someday you'll start a blog and get your creative juices flowing.

About a year after graduation, you will have a baby sister. So again, you need to get off your ass and do something so that you can be an inspiration to her. It will be a bit hypocritical of you to tell her to make the right choices when it comes to school and passions and desires for her future when you don't do any of that yourself. You can tell her to learn from your mistakes, but you'd both be better off with her learning from your successes. 

Put down those stupid diet pills that you bought from a cart in the mall and focus on health and nutrition starting NOW. Believe me, you're gonna have plenty of weight issues, so you should really get a hold of it now. 

People will love you. 
People will hurt you. 
A broken heart is not the end of the world. 
You will fail a lot but it will not define you. 
There will be a person or two that will really have your back in your darkest times. Try not to fuck that up later...
You will be betrayed and there will also be some people that you betray and hurt. 
These people around you today will not be around forever, so focus more on yourself.
You will fall in love.
Someone is gonna make you really happy one day. 
You will choose all the wrongs guys and at all the wrong times. 
You will break down. 
Sometimes you're gonna wish you were dead. 

But you can't die because you have a light at the end of all this. And you'll have a baby sister that will adore you and you two will spend every moment together. You will be the first one to hold her when she's born, you'll spend your days with her while your mom works and you will work at night and come home to excited hugs from her tiny little beautiful self. She will love you. And she will need you. 

And most importantly, stop being so angry. Don't keep sweating the small stuff because it will be the hardest habit for you to break and you will need to break it at the most important time of your life... when Robert loves you. Yes, the one from Pop Warner. The one you dated so briefly at 13 years old. The one whose photo you carried in your back pocket, and whose name you covered notebooks with. That one. He will be back and he will love you. 

12th grade Kelly, you're gonna be happy regardless if you take all this advice. In fact, don't take any of it, just run the path you choose because it's the one that's gonna lead you back to that Robert. And through all your mistakes and darkness, your sister is still gonna love you and admire you and look up to you and want to be with you all the time. 


PS - try to never have orange hair again, especially when the background of your senior picture is orange. Idiot.

A Travel Rant

We were totally ready to go home for Christmas. But when the numbers all added up, I heard our bank accounts crying in the background. And those tears are the fault of every single airline that chooses to triple their prices during the holidays. I don't know why I'm so mad about it, I literally do this every year, "try to go home for the holidays", and every single year I'm reminded that it's near impossible. But I'm extra stabby about it this time. 

I moved away from home five and a half years ago. I can count on one hand how many times I've been home since then. We haven't been able to spend the holidays with our families in years. And this is coming from someone who has always hated the holiday season, but honestly I hate it even more when we basically don't have a Thanksgiving and Christmas at all because we're so far away. I know I know, our choice to move blah blah blah. But after so many years, it gets kinda sad. 

We figured we would finally be able to make it home this Christmas and take on the flight prices since we're financially doing better each year. But I'm sorry, almost $2600 for flights and car rental and hotel (because privacy and space please, 10 days is a long time)... no thank you. Never mind being there for a week and spending money on all the food we so badly miss. I don't care if I had that in a pile of cash in front of me, it's a fucking ridiculous amount. And for an extra burn, that cost also included a discount from our sky miles. Ha! I don't know if you've ever traveled major city to major city during a holiday peak time, but it's pure robbery. And for some reason, they like to make it a little higher when specifically flying Los Angeles to Boston. If we lived at home and were coming here, it would be a little cheaper. I'll assume that's the CA tax continuing to ass rape us in every way possible. Or maybe it is the airlines, I'm sure they're well aware of how many northeast transplants are here and would love to go home for the holidays. I'm sure they figure that people will just pay it because they want to go home so badly. Sorry not sorry, not this girl. I know I miss my home a lot and I get really sad about it at times, but I don't miss it enough to shell out that many thousands - especially during the winter. Which as a side note: my body hasn't felt a New England winter in over 5 years, I'm almost positive that I would die going back there at that time. If not by freezing, than by driving because I have completely forgotten how to drive in the snow. Never liked it anyways, half the reason I left home. 

And anyways, why are hotels so expensive? We picked a good one, and it was a good price but still, if you're booking for a week or more you should get a discount, a big one. Like why do they need to take that much money? To change the sheets after we leave? Oh what a cost! At least airplanes do something, a hotel room just sits there. 

I guess these astronomical holiday travel prices are a blessing in disguise, since the winter would have killed me and all. Now I can live and still hang out with my cat.