I Guess I'm Sad

Oh hi there big white space that I haven't bothered to do anything with lately! I don't know why I'm lacking so much motivation lately, but I just am. Maybe I just really want it to be summer. Oh wait, I'm in southern California, it already is. Maybe I really wanted to go home in April for my sister Erica's 13th birthday and I'm slowly realizing that I can't and I'm sad. (Thank you airlines and your disgusting coast to coast prices!)  Like, really sad that I'm gonna miss her 13th birthday. She's been wanting to be a teenager since she was a toddler haha. Oh, just more of that "I moved away" guilt that I carry.


With the 3000 miles and the 3 hour time difference, I pretty much rely on Instagram to see what she's up to. I've been debating on putting this out there or not but fuck it... I'm jealous. My brother and his girlfriend (who I love!) get to hang out with Erica pretty often. And I'm so glad because she needs them. Every time they post pictures of them hanging out, I get super excited! But then I get immediately deflated because I'm not there with them. I'm jealous that they all get to be together and I'm just over here feeling left out. I didn't really notice this until a couple of days ago when the boyfriend pointed something out...

When I got home from work, I was in a great mood, pumped to go to the gym, excited to see DeNiro, just plain happy. While I drank my pre-workout drink, I did my usual scroll through Instagram. I passed a picture of the three of them hanging out and my heart smiled, awww! As we prepared to go to the gym, the boyfriend noticed something in my mood shifted and questioned it. I did the typical "nothing's wrong" because I really didn't think anything was. When we got to the gym, his drink hadn't kicked in yet so we sat for a few minutes, while he scrolled through Instagram and came across the same picture and asked me "is this why you're sad? Is this what's wrong?" I glanced over at what he was talking about, confused because nothing was wrong and I saw their three smiles again. It took me a second while it set in and said "I guess so?" It was then that I realized how much I miss all of them is really weighing on me. I haven't seen my sister since October 2012. I got to be with Kevin and Vanessa this past summer, but it was very short lived [see: here and here]. I just really really miss everyone a lot and I really need to go home. But it's just not in the cards right now and I think it's breaking my heart a little.

And then.... we're moving. I think. We didn't sign anything yet, but they called us yesterday and said that the apartment we were waiting for is available and ready for us for March 1st. That's in a week! I was kinda hoping it wouldn't be ready until April 1st. Now we have one week (while working all day) to pack and move and clean. In the bigger picture, I know it's so not a big deal and totally doable. Especially since we're staying in the same building, just moving upstairs. Basically one of the easiest moves ever, but for some reason it's really stressing me out. Which in turn means that I will again be taking another week off the blog.

That's also the weekend of our 3 year anniversary, and ugh we'll be moving. That annoys me because I wanted to celebrate. But I suppose I can look at this with a positive view and see it as celebrating with a new bigger apartment!


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T is for Townsend

Hello Petite Ramblings readers! My name is Carissa and I blog over at T is for Townsend

I'm so excited to be taking over Kelly's oh-so-fabulous corner of the internet today!

I wanted to just take a bit of your time to tell you about one of my most favorite things ever: my home state of Arizona! The news coverage of the weather has been non-stop these days, and while I try and remind myself of how fortunate we Arizonans are to not have to shovel anything off our cars in the morning (cause you can't shovel sunshine), I am pretty jealous of all the snow days you all are having. Though when it comes right down to it, as much as I may complain about the heat in the summer time (heck, the heat now! It was freakin 86 today!), I really wouldn't have it any other way.

I feel like Arizona gets a bit of a bad rap (wrap?) on the national level so any time I have a chance to tell you all about how truly awesome Arizona is, I love to take advantage! So, in no particular order, here are a few of my favorite things about Arizona!


1.) There's more than just dirt here.
Yes, there's a lot of desert...and let's take a moment to appreciate the desert:



...But there's also lots of non-desert. For example:





 





...and a bajillion more cool spots. There's so many hidden gems and neat things to do in Arizona you'd probably be surprised (hopefully you already are, or else I'm not really doing a good job at being a guest post-er)!


2.) We have all four major professional sports




...and I love me some sports!





3.) We have wine
And bloggers love wine; so naturally, bloggers should love Arizona. Sonoita, Jerome, Sedona, Wilcox, you name it, it's here. All over AZ!



4.) We have low property taxes
I figured I'd just throw that one in to sound grown up.

5.) Last but not least, the weather.
I don't really have to go into detail about this one...just look at the entire east coast and the fact that I had to turn the AC on in my car today.

Oh and also...if ever you're buying something online or filling out a survey and you have to choose your state from the drop-down menu, Arizona is always at the top since it starts with "A." So it's really convenient not to have to scroll through 50 states to chose your location. So you know, there's that too.

I'll stop there before Kelly kicks me out. 
And even if you can't visit Arizona anytime soon, at least visit my blog cause that's like, the virtual version of Arizona...kind of. Not really, but let's just go with it K?

Thanks Ms. Kelly for letting me take over your blog for the day! Hope to see you all soon!
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i dunno

I am SO tired lately. I've fallen asleep so many times today. For the second night in a row, I failed to make a legit post. Also failed to link up with Jackie and Karly so I could brag about my perfect cat. I guess I'll save it for next months link-up. I have no desire to pour anything out onto this blog lately. I think I've been putting so much of my brain power into changing my health that I don't have any brain power left when I sit down and look at this big white space. I have no motivation to blog, nothing exciting to share, so I don't post.  Or maybe once again I was so sick of the way my blog looked. I've had that blue color going on forever, through 2 blog designs, I kept the same color scheme. Somehow I had motivation and brain power to revamp the bitch. New colors and buttons and errythang. Don't go clicking around the pages yet though, that shits all still blue. No matchy matchy yet. But this does match my twittah!

Yea that's all I got for you. I'm out. Happy VD. kidding... happy valentines day! And for those that are butthurt about today, HAPPY FRIDAY!


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Safe Haven

I came here to this big white space thinking I had something to say. But after a gazillion hour long day at work and some other nonsense, I am totally brain dead. All I can really think about is my NutriBullet arriving tomorrow and all the drinks I'm gonna make and also thinking about the snaps I sent to everyone of my lil dude DeNiro in his new skull coat. No but really, look...



Speaking of snapchat, this girl here is one my snapchat besties. Meet Tiffany, from My Safe Havens! She's a mommy from Texas who hates skinny jeans, loves horror movies and - one of my favorite things - when she was a kid she thought there were a bunch of little people under the bath tub that would make the bath tub work. I wish I thought that!! I did a little interview so that we could all get to know her a little bit better, check out what she would do if she won the lottery!


1. Why did you start blogging?
I started blogging to keep my family in the know of what goes on, on the regular with me and my daughter. The other reason is very near and dear to my heart, and my blog came to be because my brother was taken from this world much too soon in 2012. I wanted to make sure to leave a footprint behind for my loved ones; especially my daughter (his son was 2 when he passed). I would much rather her have a glimpse of me from my own hands and words, rather than have them instill memories they have about me on her so they become hers. Does that even make sense?!

2. What are your blogging goals?
First and foremost, it is to have fun and never have it feel like a chore. I am here for me first. I have found some of the most empowering people here, and I always seem to stumble upon the words I need to hear, just at the right time. If I could do that for just one person, I think it would be fair to say that my goal has been met. I have met some awesome people and have formed some great friendships here, and I would like to continue to grow my friendship circle.


3. What advice do you have for new bloggers?
My biggest advice is to be yourself. Find your own niche. Have fun, put yourself out there, and engage with other bloggers. You will form some of the best, lifelong friendships here.

4. If you won $50 million in the lottery, in what ways do you think your life would change? 
I think not only my life would change, but the lives of those around me would change as well. I would like to say I would still work, but who knows? I would probably end up buying a ranch with plenty of land and start my own animal rescue, or haven. There are so many dogs put down on the regular because of their breed alone such as rottweilers, pit bulls, german shepherds, and the like. I know where I am, the city pound automatically euthanizes these breeds after the waiting period if they are any age over 6 months and that kills me. Rescue was my heart and soul, and is still a passion I would like to pick back up again. Of course, seeing the world and travel is also on my list. Another thing that has been weighing heavy on my heart as of late is adoption. There are so many unwanted children in the United States. If I didn't work, I would spend time volunteering for a place like Texas Casa, to be the voice for children of the court systems.


5. Tell us 2 random facts about yourself.
1. I have foot in mouth disease in a bad way. I always speak without thinking! Apparently, I just called my new boss old, and didn't even know it!
2. I have the ugliest feet ever. It's really my toes, and they always make it into the topic of conversation in the summer one way or another. If I buy closed toed shoes I usually have to go up a half, or entire shoe size! I actually had a guy ask me to hold his cigarette once, when I put my hand out to hold it, he said NO, with your toes!

You can keep up with Tiffany all over the interwebz like Bloglovin, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram!



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Ways To Save Money

It's time to really look at where I need to stop spending wasting my money. We're planning to move into a bigger apartment soon and it's just slightly over our budget but still a great deal considering where we live and what we'll be getting. We're kinda like "it's now or never", so we just have to make it work. I decided to get rid of a few things that really aren't necessary, to help push me into budget mode. Maybe this will be helpful for you too if you've been looking for some ways to cut back!


Subscription boxes: I have already cut back on these, but I'm gonna just cancel all of them. Truth is, while they're super exciting when they arrive, they're pretty pointless for me. I've had some great products (most recently, the Beauty Blender!) but not enough for me to keep any of the boxes. Time to let go.

Wine: I know, how dare I say that wine is unnecessary and needs to go?! But really though, I buy way too much and drink way too much of it. Not only do I need to do this for financial reasons, but also for the new health kick I'm on. It's time to really cut back on the alcohol and maybe I'll lose some bloat. Will I never drink wine again? Hahahahaha. Of course. But I won't be having a few glasses a day anymore. Maybe I'll get some minis and have one a week or something.

Blogging: I'm gonna stop buying sponsorships. I love love love being able to team up with my blog friends but over the last few months I've become too excited and spent a lot of money on ads and then also buy-ins for giveaways. It all really adds up and I need to take a break from it for awhile.
While we are on this topic, I have also stopped accepting sponsorships. Well, I kept two - Just Hang to just chill out on the sidebar for a month and the In-Post Promo. I chose to get rid of the blog takeovers, spotlights, and twitter shout outs because it honestly just became too much. It was hard to keep up with and I ended up feeling really guilty when I either wasn't making enough posts for them to get exposure or wasn't tweeting enough about them.

Impulse Buying (aka, online shopping): I may or may not have recently purchased a few pairs of pricey sneakers. I can justify it all I want, but in the big picture I really didn't need them. (even though I did.) Included in this category may also be things like a NurtiBullet and a Tone It Up membership, (which both things I justify to my health, but still). So no more online shopping. Done and done.

Target: Stop going.

What are some things that you cut back on when you need to pay more attention to your budget? Do you find it to be difficult or do you end up not really missing those things?





Happy Monday!

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Jelly Belly Kelly

I was a fat kid. I got picked on, even by my own friends sometimes. But mostly from the boys, or the really skinny girls. I'm talking elementary and middle school KIDS. I was called "jelly belly kelly", "butterball", and any fat name a kid could think of. But I never really cared or let it get to me, or at least I thought...

It was around sophmore year of high school (1998) that I discovered diet pills. Junior year I discovered Tae-Bo (on vhs!) and by the beginning of senior year I was living off of carrots and doing Tae-Bo twice a day. Showing up on the first day of school in a size small t-shirt and size 0-2 jeans, I felt like a queen. Having my skinny friends tell me I looked amazing and saying "omg what did you do?!" felt incredible. I was tiny, finally. But it didn't last. It never did. Months later, my face plumped up and my belly came back. Ugh, fat again.

I did this for years, using different methods of weight loss. Pills, overly exercising, lack of food, drugs, and just anything to never be Jelly Belly Kelly again. This turned into years of addiction, which led to other issues such as depression, anxiety and rage. Anytime I found a healthy path and started "eating right" and working out, something would trigger me back into those hell holes. It was like a roller coaster that I felt I was never gonna get off of.


Way too skinny. I was so unhealthy, that I was losing my hair.


Eventually, at a point where I was about 15-20 pounds overweight, I joined Weight Watchers. (No, this is not a sponsored post, do not click away.) I joined WW and I joined a gym and I dropped 18 pounds. I kept it off for awhile but then I moved and fell to pieces and moved again and fell to more pieces and gained it all back. I was large. I'm only just under 5'1", so weight is everything on my small frame. With my small frame and heavy chest, a few pounds means a lot. At this time, I was in TN and had nothing better to do than to focus on my weight loss. So I re-joined Weight Watchers and again, I lost a solid 18 pounds. My lucky number?? Who knows...

^^right before my first stint on Weight Watchers^^


 
^^after the first WW stint and months of gym time^^


It was way worse at the beginning of the second WW stint...
I honestly can't even believe I'm showing these pictures. I forgot all about them and came across them recently and they're what inspired me to make this post. I actually was able to see how far I've come. 



I know deep inside that my body will always be an issue for me. Not only because I was Jelly Belly Kelly and all the struggles that came after that, but probably also because I grew up watching my mom suffer and be hospitalized from anorexia. It's like I was destined to hate what I see in the mirror. But I'm trying really hard lately to change that. The right way. I don't want to be unhealthy and uncomfortable with extra weight on me, but I also don't want to be skinny with my bones sticking out. I just want to be healthy and strong.

I'm happy to say that for the most part, I've kept the weight off since that second time around with Weight Watchers. I go up and down a few pounds and sometimes I have to stop and remember that it's ok. Since maintaining that loss nearly 4 years ago, I've been as low as 105 pounds and as high as 125 pounds. I'm comfortably sitting somewhere between those numbers right now and just working on building strength and toning. I try to never step on the scale anymore and only go by how my clothes fit me. Especially how my gym clothes fit me. I'm trying to focus more on the fact that I'm getting old and I need to just be healthy.









Finding The "Thing" That Changes Your Life

I'm gonna let a new friend take over today. I admire her perseverance and can relate to some of her struggles (as I'm sure many of us females can), and she's here to share an inspiring story with you! A story of how running has changed her life. 

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Hi, I’m Kristina. Can We Be Friends?!



Hi! I’m Kristina and I blog over at OhKayCool.com. The name of my blog came about because I say “ok, cool” a lot ;) Don’t be too jealous of my conversational skills.



When Kelly said I could guest post on her blog I wasn’t sure what to write about because she has told you some cool things, like that she auditioned for a movie with Michael J Fox. The closest I’ve gotten to a celebrity is watching The Mindy Project on my laptop and pretending Mindy is my best friend (don’t act like you don’t do that too).

(Also, um, how awesome was that Mindy/Danny kiss in the winter finale?! All the butt grabbing!)



I finally decided that today I am going to tell you about the one thing that really means a lot to me: running. But even if you’re not a runner I think you can relate to this post because it’s not just about running, it’s about finding that one thing in your life that changes it.



How running has changed my life:

Helped Me Overcome an Eating Disorder



For years I struggled with an eating disorder, part of which included obsessive exercising using the elliptical and stationary bike. When I finally went through recovery my therapist told me that I needed to find a way to workout to be healthy but not obsessive.

The elliptical and stationary bike were big triggers for me then and I just couldn’t use them without getting bad thoughts. I eventually took up running and found my match. You can’t excel at running without eating properly because you’ll have no energy to push on long runs or fast runs.

Not to mention at the beginning running is really, really hard and you can’t concentrate on anything other than continuing to put one foot in front of the other. There’s just no room to think about calories or anything like that.



Taught Me That I’m Actually Strong



I thought of myself as a weak person for a really long time. When the going got tough, I would be the person who would quit right away.

When I started running it was seriously like the hardest thing I had ever done, but for some reason I kept doing it. By the time I crossed the finish line at my first 5K and then my first half marathon I knew that “determination” and “perseverance” were words that could actually describe me.

Running really helped me find my strength. And now when I am faced with a tough challenge outside of running, I don’t just give up. I think “I’m a runner, I can do this!” : )



Gave me Fun Challenges to Complete




Before I became a runner I spent a lot of time watching Keeping up with the Kardashians and chatting on Facebook. Those are pretty fun things to do, but they didn’t challenge me.

Running has given me something in my life to strive for - I always have a new running goal and am trying to achieve it.

My first goal was to run a 5K (check!), my next goal was to run a half marathon (check!) and now I am signed up to run my first full marathon this year. Ultimately my long-term goal is to run a 50-mile race before I turn thirty!

Finding the Thing That Changes Your Life:

Running has helped me in so many ways in my life. If you’re still searching for your ‘thing’ I hope you keep looking. It doesn’t have to be running, whatever it is, when you find it your life will change.

Maybe your thing is even your blog. If it is, that is so awesome. Blogging definitely helps us challenge ourselves in many ways.  It requires dedication, perseverance and a daily commitment -- just like running.

I would love to hear what your thing is … or maybe one thing that you’d love to try doing! Leave a comment below so that we can get to know each other better!

I can’t wait to read your comments and check out your blogs so that we can become online BFFs!

Oh and PS: if you could visit me at www.OhKayCool.com that would be really cool of you! I just started an Instagram too, and if you follow me @ohkaycool I promise follow back and to heart your pictures!


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