Get Ready, Life Update

I'm on day five of suffering from allergies. It is subsiding but this has completely exhausted me of all energy I could ever possibly have. I need a week in bed. I'm behind in all things life and blogland. I promise, things are gonna get more exciting around here. It's the jump off that I'm struggling with. I bought two planners and I have two notebooks that I'm putting ideas and "diagrams" in almost daily, for blog posts and videos. I just need my 24hrs to actually really be the same as Beyonce's. I mentioned on Twitter recently (and a few others were in the same boat) that it's really difficult to commit to blogging when I spend 9 hours a day sitting at a desk in front of a computer. My ass, my back and my eyes are absolutely shot by the time I get home. As much I mentally want to sit down a bang out a few blog posts, I physically can't do it. So I tell myself that I'll set aside a few hours over the weekend and then "life happens"... all the errands you can't do during the week have to happen, all the time you miss out in the week with your significant other has to happen, or in my case allergies have to happen far too often. I envy those of you that manage to keep your blog relevant while working full time... HOW do you do it?!



I've had this mentality that I wouldn't blog just to blog, I always wanted to have content with substance... but let's face it, my life is boring haha. I've been brainstorming some things and I'm trying to find a way to bring more inspiration to this little space of mine. I toyed with the ideas of "favorite pins" and "instagrams that inspire" and share why they stood out to me and what they do for me, mean to me. I feel like I've abandoned this place because I didn't have much to offer as a "lifestyle" blogger since my life is pretty uninteresting. But we all need a little kick of inspiration sometimes and thought that could be something fresh to bring this blog back to life. Let me know what you think..... wait, is anyone still here??

On a more personal note, I wasn't going to mention this until after I had some answers but I've already titled this "life update" and I'm far too lazy to drag the mouse up there to delete it. So let's roll with it. Last week I had a doctor appointment that didn't go as I had expected. Keeping all my over dramatic details to a minimum, I had an abnormal EKG and well, I lost my shit. Miss paranoia, miss anxiety, miss scared of everything, had a meltdown and immediately thought she was gonna die. Let's move over to when I grasped reality and did what I'm supposed to do... chill the fuck out and make an appointment with a cardiologist. My appointment is this Friday and as much as I've told myself "no big deal, it's probably nothing, keep calm until you have answers"... the panic has been sitting in me since last week. But again, I don't have any answers yet, but there is heart disease in my family history so I'm really hoping when I come back with an update for you guys that it really is "no big deal". 


Let's move on to the entertainment!!!!!!! While dying from allergies this past weekend, I had a brilliant idea to film a video. Why? Anything to keep my mind off of this upcoming doctors appointment. All while learning that someone who is already bad at liquid liner should certainly not take a chance at it while sick. And apparently I didn't have enough energy to BLEND cuz damn them cheeks is harsh. But if you've been following along, you know editing is my favorite part and that's what really keeps my mind off other nonsense, so any excuse to film is an excuse to edit!  Enjoy! 





Products Used:
*E Y E S
NYX Jumbo Pencil - milk http://bit.ly/1hpNVfk
Morphe Brushes http://bit.ly/1BmTgwU
  #64 - #71 - #53 - #6 (Jaclyn Hill Palette) | enter the giveaway here!
  #28 true black matte
Too Faced waterproof liner http://seph.me/1qINrnU
Kat Von D tattoo liquid liner http://seph.me/1eLGZGl
Maybelline Lash Sensational mascara http://bit.ly/18pJT7p
Rimmel Lash Accelerator mascara http://bit.ly/18pK1ny

*F A C E
Maybelline Master Studio Primer http://bit.ly/1JXEfoH
Rimmel Lasting Finish 25hr Foundation http://bit.ly/1z6KvYk
Maybelline Face Studio Master Concealer http://bit.ly/1uxRHbC
NYX Set It and Don't Fret It powder http://bit.ly/1oJpeAf
ABH contour kit - fawn and banana http://bit.ly/ZiqGjC
Maybelline Master HiLight blush - mauve http://bit.ly/1j2yMG2
Urban Decay setting spray http://seph.me/1gykDuH

*B R O W S (not shown)
ABH brow wiz - soft brown http://bit.ly/1BtF4Dw
ABH brow pomade - caramel http://bit.ly/1q989CC
NYX clear brow gel

*L I P S
Colorpop liner - lumiere
NYX butter gloss - creme brulee http://bit.ly/1EoQGLS


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XO



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LookBook | Burgundy Pants 3 Ways



It was absolutely beautiful this past weekend, 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. I took full advantage of this and decided to film a video outside. This type of filming was a first for me, and I did it all alone and man it was not easy! But I was ready to take on the challenge because I needed the mental distraction. I had a not so great doctors appointment last week (more on that later) and it's been really eating at me so taking the time outside in the fresh air to do this was really needed. I had a lot of difficulty so I was worried about how it would come out, but I'm pretty happy with it! We are all our own worst critic so I certainly see a plethora of things I would change now and do better. I would love any and all feedback from you, what you like and most importantly what you dislike about it. Please and thank you :) 





Thank you so much for watching!


Product Info:
BURGUNDY PANTS - charlotte russe

+ L O O K . O N E
t-shirt : too cute to prostitute ilovetokyohardcore.com
plaid shirt : forever21
hat : a surf shop in Laguna Beach
shoes : converse low chucks

+ L O O K . T W O
shirt : target
hat : charlotte russe
shoes : some crap store in the mall. these shoes suck and they hurt!
necklace : Early August
earrings : charlotte russe

+ L O O K . T H R E E 
tupac shirt : kohls, I think (it was a gift from my sister)
jacket : forever21
necklace : bauble bar
rings : Early August


xo


In case you missed it, I'm giving away TWO of the Jaclyn Hill Morphe Eyeshadow Palettes!

❤ Please subscribe to my channel! ❤




I'm A Statistic

I don't even know where this post is going. It's like a LiveJournal rant. Hashtag throwback! I wanted so much for myself this year. And I truly mean SELF. My only goal for 2015 was to fix me. Be genuinely happy with me and who I am. While I've been doing great, since even before the new year, I've to come realize that you cannot change who you are. If you're destined for chaos and destruction, there isn't much you can do about it. Try after try after try to love yourself and see things in a brighter light and think more positive, only to be dropped right back down to the depths of where your inner demons live. All a wasted effort. 88% of "resolutions" fail within the first 2 weeks of the year. I'm now a statistic.





While I don't want to darken this post with why I've failed already, I'll simply say that ... I am who I am. Trying to change who I am, even for the better, just isn't good for anyone. It isn't good for me, having to suffocate through the times when I want to flip out but have to work on taking a different route, it makes me feel fake. And being this way for the last month or so, has clearly caused a build up that made me snap. I'm a shitty person and I will always be a shitty person. I'm unhappy with myself and my choices that haunt me and that's the way it will always be.  Trying to change who I am isn't good for anyone around me either. They think it's gonna be peaceful from here on out and then the storm comes back again. Sadly, I typically get the "oh I'm so proud of you, you're coming so far, I can really see you have a better outlook" but then when I have a set back (because I'm a fucking human) all I hear is "you never tried." And now everyone is in chaos because I derailed the positivity train. All while watching the world around me filled with the ones who really don't try to better themselves, and the ones that just want you to change. Ya know, the hypocrites. I've experienced this far too many times in my life. People who do not support your journey to a healthier you, a better you, a happier you, do not deserve to exist in your world. I've walked away from people that meant the world to me simply because when it was time for me to spread my wings and do something to make me happy, I got shit on. A lot.

There will always be at least one person that wants to see you fail... at life as a whole. There will always be someone that smiles to your face and tells you how wonderful you are and how much they love and care, only to retract all that the moment they feel threatened by your joy. Today, unfortunately, I am that person to me. 





Nothing like a debbie downer post for a bright Tuesday morning. 

I made a video recently discussing what I learned in 2014 and what I hope to get out of 2015. If I watched that today, it would probably make me puke. (maybe I need to film a revised one). 
Things really can change over night, and when they do, it's usually not for the better. 


If this dragged you into my misery, you can get picked back up in seeing how positive I was last week.







I also posted my favorite video yet, I'm really getting a hang of editing. If you missed that you can click on the photo below. As well as the giveaway I still have going on!

I hope you are all having a beautiful day! xo






I'm giving away TWO of the Jaclyn Hill Morphe Eyeshadow Palettes!
Please subscribe to my channel!








Quick Everyday Makeup


Remember when a 40 hour a week job was called a "9 to 5"? What even is that? If I had to be at work at 9 am, I'd probably actually workout in the morning. Maybe. While I do enjoy getting out of work early in the day, I don't exactly love my arrival time of 6:00 am. I legit roll out of bed and into work, there is no "morning routine" of coffee and breakfast and reading the newspaper (newspaper? god I'm old!)  But I absolutely refuse to leave the house looking like I could be an extra on The Walking Dead. I have to at least do minimal makeup so that when you look at me, you think I'm awake. Even though my mind and soul is still very much asleep in dreamland. 


Get to the point, Kelly. Here is a very quick video of my very quick early morning makeup. 
I had a lot of fun editing this one. It's definitely my favorite so far! I feel like I'm actually starting to get the hang of this... sorta. 





What are your mornings like? Do you have time to wake up and relax and get fully ready? Or are you zombie walking out the door before the sun comes up like me? 
Thank you for watching, I hope your Monday isn't manic!

xo



PRODUCTS USED
First Aid Beauty Face Cleanser - http://goo.gl/pHXG1C
Ole Henriksen Truth Serum - http://goo.gl/iTecm1
Maybelline Fit Me Matte & Poreless - http://goo.gl/suwhme
Garnier Dark Circle Eye Roller - http://goo.gl/5MFg6H
NYX Set It & Don't Fret It powder - http://goo.gl/e8aUXR
Benefit Gimme Brow - http://goo.gl/L7LfiL
Benefit Hoola Bronzer - http://goo.gl/FynNGY
Maybelline Master Hi-Light Blush in Mauve - http://goo.gl/3QoeRf
Makeup Geek Shadows
BITTEN http://goo.gl/inBGKO
SHIMMA SHIMMA http://goo.gl/oe3Sva
COCOA BEAR http://goo.gl/f0hgJQ
PEACH SMOOTHIE http://goo.gl/hFcIfl
CREME BRULEE http://goo.gl/Glc3ix
CoverGirl Clump Crusher Mascara - http://goo.gl/wTYZgM
NYX Butter Gloss in Tiramisu - http://goo.gl/jRPxTV
Urban Decay De-Slick Setting Spray - http://goo.gl/LyqESc



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Get Off My Butt

Remember that spending freeze I went on? Yea I'm still on it. For the most part. Besides christmas gifts and a few other things (like the Jaclyn Hill Palette!) I really have kept to this spending freeze. And it's been absolute torture. Not only because there are things that I want and can't have, but because a spending freeze is a lot like losing weight. It takes a long time to see a difference. I don't know about you but I can pretty much gain 10 pounds in a matter of days. But then it takes all eternity to take that weight off. This spending freeze is giving me that same frustration. I cut down on the spending so where the hell is all my money?! It's so easy to spend a load of money in one shopping trip (especially online), but to recover from all the shopping trips ugh, I hate it as much as I hate trying to lose those ten pounds. I would love to tell you this post is going to transition into something like "how to stay on a budget" but hahahaha nope. I'm pretty much just here to say that I actually stuck with something. And to also complain about it.


Let's also talk about how I haven't worked out since like.... August. I wish I could tell you that's a joke. This is the biggest rut I have ever been in and I'll give you every excuse possible. "I'm too tired, I don't have time, I don't feel good, I have a headache, my stomach hurts, I'm too hangry, I need to edit my video, I need to film something"... I could keep going.

Here's the truth: I'm tired all the time because I don't exercise. I may not "make time" to go to the gym but I absolutely have time to work out at home, just like I used to. I would come home from work and spend 30-60 minutes doing Tone It Up workouts. I constantly don't feel good and have headaches and stomach aches because I'm not taking care of myself with exercise and clean eating. I'm LAZY! And that's the truth. I sit at a desk all day, I can't tell you how much my butt hurts just half way through the day. Then I go home and sit my sore aching ass on the couch or in front of another computer because apparently watching Vanderpump Rules reruns and hours of YouTube are way more important than spending 20 minutes doing squat exercises. 





Funny how I'm talking about not seeing money from my spending freeze but I'm over here paying for a gym membership I haven't used in months. 'Merica!




Yaaasss, Queen Lisa! Ok Queen Lisa, I will work out today. Yes Queen Lisa, whatever you say Queen Lisa. 


TELL ME what your current exercise motivation and routines are. Or are you lazy with a sore flat butt like me? 


In case you missed it, I have two new videos up! 
Please subscribe to my channel!

xo






JACLYN HILL MORPHE PALETTE GIVEAWAY!




HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! I sure missed being around blogland! I wanted to kick off 2015 with a bang so I snagged a couple of the ever so popular, highly anticipated, all sold out.... Jaclyn Hill Morphe Eyeshadow Palettes!! And I'm giving away TWO of them! 

Please check out the video to find out how to enter and good luck!!
OPEN INTERNATIONALLY!







ENTER THE GIVEAWAY BELOW


a Rafflecopter giveaway



Thank you and good luck! 
xo



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