Fuck It, I'm Done.

I started the week off planning to film what I eat all week, and make a post two days ago about getting on board the Freelee 30 day recipe situation.... but, I can't. I'm just so over food right now, it's stressing me out! Let me explain. This is about to get deep. And probably all over the place because I'm just gonna run with it and let it out.

Food and I have a love/hate, up and down relationship. It's often controlled my life for my most of my life. I've been overweight, underweight, obsessive, diet pill junkie, laxative junkie, starved myself, overate, you name it - if it has anything to do with an unhealthy relationship with food, I've been there. And I'm exhausted. This plan and that plan, this new fad and that new fad. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. 

I go through these phases where: I spend all of my money on food. I go to the grocery store every.single.day. My fridge, freezer and pantry are always stocked and stuffed. And it's not just at home, my work desk drawer is always loaded with snacks, and I take up space in our small fridge. I spend most of my free time watching food videos on YouTube or scrolling through food Instagrams, or digging through Pinterest for food food food!  

While I've always been off and on like this - this has really started to take over me the last few months. And if we're gonna get into psychology, I can pretty much guarantee why. This year has been... there's not even a word for it. A nightmare? My life was so unexpectedly flipped upside down, and I've continued to feel tortured basically til this very day. I tried so hard to keep it together and build a new life on my own, but I'm starting to think that was really just being thrown into survival mode. Now I feel like the walls are cracking and I'm losing control of who I am. And I guess putting all my energy into anything related to food is my way of holding it all together. Why food? I don't know, probably because I was a fat kid and have always turned to food in distress. 

I'm done following plans and programs, I'm done falling for any "hot new diet trend". I don't want to keep forcing my body to eat what a program is telling it to eat. I want to listen to my body intuitively and feed it what it wants when it wants - while vegan. So I'm sorry to those of you that were looking forward to me recapping the 30 days of Freelee's plan (as I showed on Snapchat - mskellylouise), I'm still going to be sharing bits and parts of my vegan journey in blog posts and in videos, just not under any plan.


I dunno guys, I'm just sad lately. I'm really broken still. I'm so heartbroken and I still cry a lot and I'm still confused and I'm just really stressed and kinda lost I guess. A lot of shit went down recently and I feel like all the progress I made this year went backwards and I'm just really down lately. I'm trying to stay on top of the promises I made for myself with this blog but some days all I wanna do is just sleep and cry.

Top 5 Gym Essentials

I've finally been consistent at the gym again. Besides just wanting to be healthy and fit and have a stress relief session a few days a week - going to the gym is much more enjoyable when you have some of the tools to make it easier. Of course, your phone and headphones are number one, I don't even need to put those on the list.

1. Good sneakers! Whether you're lifting or doing cardio, you want to make sure your foundation is supportive and comfortable. Nothing exciting about shin splints and heel spurs. My favorite brand is Asics.

2. Lifting gloves - this is good for free weights, ropes, kettlebells, anything you need to grip, you want to keep your palm protected and some weights have a textured handle that I personally find kinda painful to grip. I have these white Nike ones. 

3. Comfy clothes that make you feel good! - loose fitting tanks and cropped pants are my fave.

follow me on snapchat :: mskellylouise

4. Expandable waist pack belt - to hold your phone, keys, cards, etc. I personally have never been a fan of those phone holder things that wrap on your arm, my arms have always been too small to hold it comfortably. I love this belt because it keeps my phone out of the way when I'm lifting so I can still enjoy my music without getting annoyed. 

5. Apps! There are so many I feel like they should have a post of their own.
    ::Sweat With Kayla
    ::My Fitness Pal
    ::7 Minutes Workout
    ::Tone It Up
Honestly, the list is endless. Find one that works best for you, there's millions!

These are the few things that have made all the difference in my gym experience! 

What makes your gym sessions more efficient? 
Do you have a favorite fitness app?


My Baby Had A Birthday

On Saturday, August 13th DeNiro turned 4! I honestly can't believe that it's been four years already. It legit feels like I just picked him up at the shelter. He was just a tiny 3 month old baby when I took him home. I'm so thankful for this dude, at the end of every bad day (and there have been plenty!) he is always there to cuddle with me and make me feel loved. It's been a rough four years and more specifically past six months and he was right there by my side through every single tear that fell on my pillow. I wish he could understand how much he means to me. 

Enjoy with me, a "Monday Dump" of his adorable little face! 


If you follow me on Snapchat (mskellylouise), you saw he got his annual sashimi birthday dinner! 

Do you celebrate your pets birthday? 


Why I'm Obsessed With Grocery Hauls

a haul from my IG a long time ago

When I tell people I'm a picky eater, they never actually realize how deep that goes. I've spent most my whole life being so difficultly picky that it even annoys me. I've never been the most fun person to go out to eat with because I'll say "no" to almost every single place you suggest. Sushi? nope. Thai? nope. Indian? nope. Seafood? nope. ... Pizza? depends where it's from. And I live in Los Angeles, so almost everywhere you can go to eat is some sort of trendy AF joint with some weird ass food that you couldn't pay me to eat. This is probably why I have no friends.

Since rebuilding my life, I decided to start trying new things in all areas of my life, and since I've been transitioning to Veganism, food had to be at the top of that list!  Bring in.... grocery haul videos! I.AM.OB.SESSED.  I will watch every single one that I come across on YouTube, and I'll watch all the "what I eat in a day" videos too! And the ones that are "store specific" like Trader Joes and Costco are awesome too because that just makes it even easier to get the exact item! Seeing what people are buying has really changed the game for me, I've fallen in love with some foods that I've spent my whole life gagging at the thought of. For example; Hummus. Up until a few months ago, my reaction was "barf barf barf" and now I go through a container or two a week! Currently I only like the Cedar's Roasted Red Pepper, I'm not into the other flavors yet.

Here's a few that I've watched recently. I'm not sharing these particular ones for any special reason, I honestly watch so many I don't have any "favorites" to share. These were chosen just at random :)

The second one is much longer as she goes into detail about why she bought things and what she likes to make, etc. That's another thing I love, everyone has their own style of how they show their haul. Does this make me sound really old? I kinda feel like an old lady right now being all amped up and excited about groceries. 

Moral of the story is, I love these videos because they've opened me up to trying foods I never would have before and often it's foods that most people consider basic staples in their kitchen. I've lived a very sheltered food life and thanks to something as simple as seeing what's in your grocery cart is helping me so much! Also, now I really wanna start uploading my own grocery hauls to my channel!

Are you a picky eater?  
Do you like seeing what other people are buying? 


My Favorite Lip Products

I have a small mouth and a tiny uneven set of lips, on top of a chubby cheeked face, so I've never really been a fan of drawing attention to my lips. Which is why you will almost never see me in much more than some sort of lip conditioner. But that doesn't mean I don't have a few die hard go-to lip products!

HA! When I laid them all out for photos, I legit laughed out loud. Look at my basic ass, they're all the same color! And last week I was bitching about eye shadow palettes being all the same colors. But this is because my small little mouth can't carry a bold lip :(
Anyways, let's go!

It Cosmetics Lip Vitality :: the original one in Je Ne Sais Quoi (now they have tons of actual colors)
This has been my favorite thing ever for like two years now. I've talked about it so much on here so I won't repeat myself and bore anyone but DAMN I LOVE IT. (not pictured cuz I just ran out of it this past weekend. *sobs*)

Maybelline Baby Lips :: same story as above, mention it all the time, only love the plain one in Quenched. I can't live without it, I have one in my purse and one in my bathroom at all times. Side note- I hate all the other Baby Lips.

Best Damn Beauty Lip Mask :: oops, another I've mentioned before. See, these really are my favorites. I put this on every night and since I started using it last year, I never have chapped lips anymore, ever! 

NYX Butter Gloss Creme Brulee & Tiramisu :: the only two that I buy over and over and always have in my purse. I love the little touch of natural color and they're not sticky glosses. Ya'll already know about these popular little gems....

Colourpop Ultra Matte in Solow :: my first ever Colourpop matte lip and still my #1 homie. It's like my natural lip color with a tiny touch of pink. It's almost all gone and that's ok because this was from the first batch they ever had and I'm probably due for a new one anyways.

MAC Pro Longwear Lip Pencil in Nice N Spicy :: when MAC's Whirl pencil was all the rage, I reached for this one... by accident. And ended up loving it!

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On Lip Pencil in Naked :: I use this one way more than the MAC one, this is the lip liner I reach for constantly. Often times I'll line and fill my lips in with it and then top it with one of the NYX Butter Glosses. 

Maybelline Vivid Matte Liquid in 10 Nude Flush :: these got a lot of hate when they came out because everyone expected them to be a liquid lipstick but they don't dry. They stay feeling like a creamy soft matte, I think it feels nice. 

What are some of your favorite lip products? 
Do you have go-to color? 


No Jumping

"It only takes one drop to stir chaos within a body of water. One drop willing to leap against the weight of the ocean to make it rise. One drop, ripple upon ripple, creating a wave of change. Never push aside the power you hold as one." -@iamhertribe


Hearty Veggie Lentil Soup - Vegan

I've been making this soup over and over again for the last few months. That might sound weird since we're dead in the middle of summer. But it's quick, easy and cheap! And I'm all about those things so it's no wonder this has been my go-to! 

One of the best things about this is how much food you end up with! I have lunch for the entire week and then some. I always portion it out into my lunch containers so it's an easy grab & go every morning.

If you're a long time reader, you know from previous recipes that I'm not the biggest fan of measuring. I like to live on the edge and wing it when it comes to throwing in seasonings. I stand by "season to your liking"!

Olive oil
chopped fresh garlic
chopped onion (I use green spring)
chopped carrots
chopped potatoes
chopped zucchini
1 can kidney beans (rinsed)
1 can corn (rinsed)
a few cans of crushed tomatoes
a carton of veggie broth
1/2 cup red lentils
1/2 cup green lentils
seasonings of your choice, I chose:
garlic powder

start your pot with heating a few tablespoons of oil
throw in the garlic and onions to start the flavors going
add a cup of water to avoid burning
dump in all the chopped veggies: carrots, potatoes, zucchinis
let those cook together for a few mins
dump in all the canned goods: beans, corn, tomotoes
start to boil
pour in the veggie broth
add lentils and seasonings
bring to boil
then let simmer for about 45 minutes to an hour

I like to top my bowl off with some fresh parsley as seen in my IG post from one of the million times I've made this soup.  And I'm enjoying this for my lunch right now as I hit publish on this post! Check it out over on my Snapchat @ mskellylouise

Do you have a favorite easy go-to recipe? 
Let me know if you end up trying this! 


Why I Stopped Buying Makeup

Do I need it?
But it looks just like the other palette I have. 
Well, everyone else is getting it. 
It's so hyped up, it must be amazing! 

~fifty dollars later~

I LOVE IT! IT'S LIFE! IT'S THE BEST! I'm gonna use it everyday!!

...And then it sits in a drawer for the rest of eternity. Untouched.

That basically sums up my experiences with makeup. And I'm just over it. Nothing is different anymore. Every new palette that comes out just looks like the last hyped up one (Kylie and Shaaanxo for example). I almost fell for the Too Faced Peach palette, and then I almost fell for the ABH Modern Renaissance palette.  But seriously, how many of the same colors do I need? 

palettes shown:  

I could go on a winded rant about how much of a waste all this "collecting makeup" is. But then I'd be a hypocrite because I totally fell into for a while. And then a gazillion dollars and a pile of expired makeup later.... here we are, I barely ever even wear makeup anymore. Le sigh. Can I get a refund on my stupid impulse buying? 

Instead of ranting here's a quick little list of why I cut the cord on purchasing anything other than basic needs. This problem for me applies mostly to eye shadow palettes, although this can totally apply to "how many peachy pink blushes do I need?", "how many matte foundations do I need?", "how many different concealers and black eyeliners do I need?"......

  1.  I currently don't wear a lot of makeup (summer time and all) but when I do, I'm not putting together any grand eye looks.
  2.  So. Many. Of. The. Same. Colors. - or very similar ones. 
  3.  The price of having a collection is ridiculous. Just the few palettes in the photo above is probably about $300. And I haven't hit pan on any of them and they're most likely already expired. 
  4.  I realized most gurus on YouTube were lying about products and I'm done being a sucker.
  5.  I'd rather buy food.

Maybe these companies just have us all hyped up over packaging, I've fallen for it so many times! That seems to be all the rage these days. Or maybe I'm just becoming a minimalist since downsizing my whole life. Or maybe I'm just finally getting smart about my spending?  Whatever it is, I'm so over wasting my money on makeup I don't need. I don't need every single "hot new item", the makeup buying trend is out of control right now.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MAKEUP. If it made sense to have it all, I'd love to have it all! If it cost nothing, I'd snatch it all up. If I win the lottery, I'll delete this post and go buy everything in Sephora! I mean, I was excited as ever when I got a Maybelline foundation powder in the mail yesterday from Influenster!  So maybe all this angst I have is actually just towards eye shadow palettes...

How is your makeup collection? Have you also thought about downsizing? 
Do you fall for packaging and hype too? 
How many eye shadow palettes do you own? 


I'm Just Happy To Be Here

I told myself that Monday's would be a photo drop day. But every week I end up writing on and on and on... Shhh. Without saying much, here's some of my favorite shots I've taken so far this summer. .

sixonesixblog in flight

sixonesixblog beach thoughts

sixonesixblog coffee

sixonesixblog palm trio

PS- in case you noticed that I didn't show up last week for Thursday's post.... I didn't totally fail on that. I was writing a post, but I just couldn't get it together, nothing was hitting. And I didn't want to put up a crap post just to have something up. I think Thursdays are a more difficult day because I chose for it to be the "personal" day, maybe I need to revise that to "if there is anything to share".  Meh, I'm still showing up every week and I'm proud of myself for that. I posted more times in July than I did in the whole year. 

What do you do when you get stuck on a post? Do you post it anyways? Or let it go? 
How was your weekend?