16 Things I Learned In 2016

Ok, whoa. Time to... breathe. I'm taking a deep breath and brushing the dust off this keyboard. Hold on tight my friends, because this might be a long one. Without once again getting into the chaos of the last 11 months of my life, I want to just focus on what it taught me. I think I've learned more about myself and others in 2016 than I have in my whole life. What a roller coaster ride this has been, strap in!

16 Things I Learned In 2016

1:: Self love - even just simply liking myself. There's an endless list of ways to practice self love and to stop hating things about yourself. I've started to work on that a lot more than ever before. 

2:: Things don't always turn out the way you planned. I never in a gazillion years planned to be living alone, going through life alone, and no longer having future plans shared with someone else. And I finally decided, that's ok. "shit happens".....

3:: Positive thoughts = positive actions. Law of attraction baby, it's real!

4:: Independence! I never fully realized how dependent I've been on someone else. Even the littlest things like taking the trash out, or what to have for dinner, or watch on tv. Every decision is my own now. 

5:: Being alone is not the same as being lonely. You can spend years with someone and still feel alone. I realized that being alone is necessary for my healing process and also amazing for my independence and self love. I never really got to know myself the way I do now. I always thought being alone was scary, but I actually prefer it now. 

6:: I've let my emotions control my life. And that needs to stop. I let a bad day ruin my week, a shitty week ruin my month - I dwell and I realize how much wasted time goes by just moping around. 

7:: I really love the gym and fitness. When I'm consistent at the gym, it's when I'm the happiest. When I start to see my body change and feel stronger, I'm the most confident. {{I took the whole month of December off because... see #6 above... but I've been back for a few days now}}

8:: Never fight with someone who believes their own lies. It's the most frustrating, draining, exhausting and soul sucking thing you can do. You cannot reason with someone who is pathological and/or manipulates. 

9:: Even if today is a bad day, today is not everyday. Every morning you have a new opportunity to become a happier version of yourself. This needs to be an everyday mantra. 

10:: There really is a silver lining. It might seem confusing to some, but a lot of great things have actually come from all the shitty hurtful things that happened to me this year. And I'm so thankful for that!

11:: I'm worth so much more than I ever thought. Having my loyalty and forgiveness disrespected so bluntly and continuously has made me realize how good of a person I am - I have a big heart with a lot of love to give. Maybe I wasn't always great, but damn, heartbreak can really change a person. I've seen my own true colors and I'm deserving of a lot more than the shit I've accepted my whole life. This is where some self love comes in, I know my worth now.

12:: People care about me. I've spent most of, if not all, of my life thinking and feeling like no one really cares about me. But I was blown away this year with how many people in my life put their hands out for me, checked on me and genuinely cared for my well being and continue to help me in any way they can. If you're reading this, I love ya'll and thank you.

13:: I love my mommy. We have had a very roller coaster relationship for my whole life and this year she really showed me how much she loves me. Something I always wanted. She's had my back in ways I never imagined. Just writing this make me cry because I spent some really dark years in my life thinking she didn't love me or care about me (I know now that she has always done her best) and our relationship is changing so much this year. I'm so grateful for her and love her so much.

14:: Don't expect closure for every situation.  I've gone in circles for months and months and I finally realized that I owe myself my own closure, I've had to stop waiting for the kind of apology I was never gonna get. Closure can come just by seeing things clearly.

15:: Sometimes the person you want the most is the person you're best without.  While this is a sad realization - devastating really, - it's incredibly true. No matter how much you love and care for someone, there could be other factors that will just not allow it to ever work. I'm learning to let go. 

16:: And finally, the scariest one of all! I learned that if I put my heart, soul, blood, sweat and TEARS into a dream, it will become a reality.  I OPENED MY OWN ONLINE SHOP! With all the alone time I had, I was able to focus on what I wanted and put in the work for it. I've mildly announced this on social media - mainly Snapchat - but never made an official announcement here (that post is still sitting in my drafts, never finished because, see #6) so I guess now is the time! 6ONE6IX.COM is an apparel and accessories shop, loaded with t-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, and more! Clothing for ladies and men, and new designs are being added constantly! Please go check it out and let me know what you think and follow along with us on Instagram!

I swear, 2016 was some kind of upside down black hole stepping stone for us to be ready for some legendary shit in 2017. I'm healing, rediscovering myself, and starting over - let's do this!

What were some of the most important things you learned in the last year? 

Helene in Between